The History of Uranus with 200 Nachos...or Something

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Huh, huh huh, you said, "inflation." Expansion. Huh, huh huh. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. ANNIHILATION!! YEAH, YEAH!  That would be cool! Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations.  Huh, huh huh. What's a "perturbation?"  Is that like, spankin' the monkey?   Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization.  Huh, hey Beavis, your a virile male.  Huh, huh huh. Biased galaxy formation?  Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation.  Huh, huh huh...like what are all these words or something?  Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion.  Hey Butthead, envelope expansion is cool.  Yeah, like, it is. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion.  Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions.  Star formation. Condensation.  Planetesimal accretion.  Hey! Planetesimals!  Isn't that like, what you have in your stomach?  Shut up, butt-munch! Those are your digestions.  Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion.  Huh, huh huh volatile gas expulsion. Huh huh. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Huh, huh huh, you said "organisms."  Oxidation. Mutation. Whoa, Beavis, this is how you were made!  Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction.  Uh, huh huh, huh huh he he huh eh hehe huh Huh huh uh.... Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Huh, huh huh, mammary expansion, huh huh huh Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation.  Butthead, you homo speelean. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Nachos! Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. War!  War!  Yeah, yeah! Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fire!  Fire!! -- Calm down, Beavis! Fission explosions. Whoa! Yes!  Yes!  United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Megadeth. Internet expansion. Porno! Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?

Copyright 1996,1997 by Eric Schulman

Beavis and Butthead translation by Ken Townsley.

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