The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less
Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong
nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and
helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody
radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent
relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent
fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen.
Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen
depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon,
oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova
explosion.
Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation.
Condensation.
Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust
solidification. Volatile
gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone
production. Ultraviolet
absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation.
Natural
selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual
reproduction.
Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion.
Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food
surplus
production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring
nations.
Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation
without
representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion.
Industrialization.
Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production.
Urbanization.
Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage
extension.
Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations.
Space
exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation.
Computerization.
World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification.
Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?
Copyright 1996-1997 by
Eric Schulman.
This piece was the inspiration for the book A
Briefer
History of Time and led to the Annals
of Improbable Research
Universal History Translation Project. Reprinted from the AIR,
Volume III, Number 1, January/February 1997, page 27.
Interested in learning more about any of these events? Click here for a version of the history with links
to Wikipedia
pages.