Actual School Absence Excuse Notes These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. 8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the poops. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] 12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. 16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. 22. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor. posted by beverly 10:24 AM~_~ Comments. . .
hehehehe posted by beverly 3:33 PM~_~ Comments. . .
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, have set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend Tonto and says "Tonto,look up at the sky and tell me what you see. Tonto replies me see millions stars "What does that tell you?" ask The Lone Ranger . Tonto ponders for a minute and then replies, "Astronomically speaking it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo Time wise it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant Meteorologically, it seems we will have beautiful day tomorrow What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?" The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Tonto, you Dumb Ass, someone has stolen our tent." my daughter forewarded this one to me...she got it from her boyfriend. posted by beverly 3:00 PM~_~ Comments. . .
THE PERKS OF BEING OLD Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won't wear out. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. You can live without sex but not without glasses. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You sing along with elevator music. Your eyes won't get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. posted by beverly 7:22 AM~_~ Comments. . .
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