Subject: SURGEONS' FAVORITES

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon days, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside of them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. . .
those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end of the surgery, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:
"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate 0n. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and ass are interchangeable."

posted by beverly 9:57 PM~_~

. . .

I'm going to a lecture
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and
walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a
policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?"the cop asked. "My wife."
said the man.

posted by beverly 1:29 PM~_~

. . .

Intoxicated logic
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and
one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in,
sir. You're obviously drunk"
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah,
buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Obviously relieved, the wino
said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."

posted by beverly 1:28 PM~_~

. . .

Stuck under a bridge
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads
"low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

posted by beverly 1:28 PM~_~

. . .

Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding,
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

posted by beverly 11:56 AM~_~

. . .

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?

A: Senator.


There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to "beautiful?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

posted by beverly 10:30 AM~_~

. . .

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