This is not the Internet

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor
accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage
nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight
and 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me.
"Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

~ Author Unknown ~

posted by beverly 3:43 PM~_~

. . .

"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'...they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git'...." - Alexi Sayle

posted by beverly 10:14 AM~_~

. . .

Firm Up!
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her
butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she controlled her anger and replied with
silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if
you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
That did it! She rolled over and grabbed him by his dick. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man ... and your brother!"

posted by beverly 8:51 PM~_~

. . .

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