Home Improvements

Jane entered the kitchen one morning, reached to turn
on the light, and it didn't work. After replacing the
bulb, still no light. When John, her husband, came
home, she said, "Honey, the light switch is broken.
Could you fix it for me please?". To which John replied
while displaying proudly the front of his T-shirt, "Do
you see 'Electrician' written on the front of this shirt?"
Jane said nothing.

The next day John came home and Jane said, "Honey, the
cabinet door fell off today. Could you put it back
on for me please?" To which John, of course, replied,
"Do you see 'Carpenter' written anywhere on the front
of this shirt?"

The next day John came home and Jane said, "Honey, the
water pipe under the sink is leaking. Could you fix
it for me please?" "Right!", John replied, "Do you
see 'plumber' written anywhere on the front of this
shirt?"

The next day John came home and the light switch was
working, the cabinet door had been replaced, and the
pipe wasn't leaking. John said, "I see you found some
good repairmen". To which Jane replied, "No, I just
called the neighbor next door." John asked, "Oh really?
And how much did he charge?" Jane laughed and said,
"He didn't charge anything. He said I could just bake
him some 'goodies' or we could trade it out in sex."
To which, of course, John asked, "Well, what kind of
'goodies' did you bake for him?" And Jane said proudly
while displaying the front of her shirt, "Honey, do
you see Betty Crocker written on here anywhere?"

posted by beverly 8:53 AM~_~

. . .

Premature Ejaculation

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation
so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor
what he could do to cure his problem. In response,
the doctor said,"When you feel like you are getting
ready to ejaculate try startling yourself."

That same day the man went to the store and bought a
starter pistol. All excited to try the doctor's suggestion
out, he runs home to his wife. He finds his wife at
home, in bed, naked and waiting for him. As the two
begin, they find themselves in a 69 position. Moments
later, the man feels the sudden urge to c*m so he fires
the starter pistol.

The next day, the man goes back to the doctor. The
doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not
that well...when I fired the pistol my wife sh*t on
my face, bit 3 inches off my d*ck and my neighbor came
out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"

posted by beverly 10:15 PM~_~

. . .

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