A 6-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what" says the 6-year old, "I think it's time we start cussing."
The 4-year old nods his head in approval.

The 6-year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say 'hell' and you say 'ass,' okay?. The 4-year old agrees...with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts,
"You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."

posted by beverly 10:23 AM~_~

. . .

"Good thing his name was Henry Ford and not Henre Anal.
If it was, there'd be 5.2 million people driving around
in Anal Probes."

posted by beverly 9:54 AM~_~

. . .

So What Else Is New???
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC this Christmas.
This isn't for any religious constitutional reason.
They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation's capitol.
There was no problem however finding enough jack-asses to fill the stable.

posted by beverly 8:08 AM~_~

. . .

Subject:
FURNITURE DISEASE

I got some bad news today.
I went to the doctor for my annual physical.
I found out that I have furniture disease.
For those of you who are not familiar with furniture disease . It happens
when you reach the stage in life that your chest slides down into your drawers.

posted by beverly 8:01 AM~_~

. . .

If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper...
and a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker...
and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper...
What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?

A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy.*

*no racial slur intended to offend anyone.*

posted by beverly 7:55 AM~_~

. . .

SOMETIMES
Sometimes .
when you cry ...
no one sees your tears......


Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
no one sees your hurt...


Sometimes...
when you are worried....
no one sees your stress......


Sometimes .
when you are happy .
no one sees your smile ......


But fart just one time...





"Everyday brings a new fart, a chance to start affixiating all over." -
unknown

posted by beverly 7:48 AM~_~

. . .

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