Good Days & Bad Days

First I would like to say that this is a wonderful site. What a wonderful idea for you to help out those of us who are just learning all of this stuff. I have a 7 year old daughter who has been skating for 2 years now. She loves it and is doing very well. Last year she took part in 3 competitions and did very well. This year she is warm and cold. Some days she is so happy and excited to go off to skate for a few hours; and then there are those days when she cries and acts out refusing to go. I don’t know what to do. I don't want her to think that I am forcing her to go to skating. Although I do believe that if you sign up for something you see it through to the end. But I don't want this to be a negative experience for her. Are there any suggestions as to what I can do to make these days better for both of us. Joanne

Linda says:
Your daughter may be showing conflicting attitudes toward skating more because of her age than a reaction to skating. Wanting her to see skating through after signing up is not a bad thing. At this age she may need to be reminded that she did make a commitment. You can remind her of that and suggest that you rethink skating at the end of the year if she is truly uninterested. You can also remind her of the positive aspects of skating that she has experienced in the past. Has anything changed that could be contributing to her change in attitude? If she mastered elements quickly in the past and now is working on more difficult elements and consequently taking longer, she may be discouraged. You can remind her that this is a part of learning skating. Perhaps there is a different mix of skaters at the rink. It may help to set up some rules or guidelines regarding skating. Maybe stating in advance what is an acceptable reason to not skate will make for better days.

Marcia's Mom says:
My first thought is to have you identify just what it is that makes you daughter not want to skate.  This could be the crux of the problem.  A skater cannot be "on" everyday.  They are human.  That goes for competitions too.  I know it's difficult for a child to understand that a good skate at a competition is what you are looking for, not just a medal, but that has to be emphasized.  If not, the whole experience will become too stressful for everyone.

I too feel that if you sign up for something, you see it through.  But, if it's not just an off day and it continues for a while,  it's very early in the season, maybe you both should revisit your goals. Good luck!

Traci says:
Perhaps your daughter is feeling a little bit of pressure.  Because she did well last year, she probably wants to do well again this year.  I agree with finishing something through to the end, but perhaps you shouldn't enter her into any competitions this season.  Find out why she is unhappy some days.  Maybe there is something else going on at the rink that you don't know about.  Good Luck!


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