Common
Questions and Answers
Concerning
Edward Hersh and Counseling Ministry
What is your mission?
To provide a safe and
supportive environment for emotional healing
and spiritual growth.
Based on your training and experience, what type of situation(s) and person(s) do you believe you can help the most?
I enjoy working with both
individuals and couples. The deeper a
person's desire for change, the more effective I can be in facilitating
healing. My recent Master of Arts in Human
Service Counseling degree from Regent University has trained me in pastoral
(church-based) counseling ministry. I
have experience in church-based counseling with people struggling with various
addictions, depression and anxiety, eating disorders, gender issues, marriage issues
and other relationship problems.
I have also had in-depth
training and experience in healing prayer ministry working with people
overcoming emotional woundedness caused by serious trauma, abuse, grief and
severe loss. Post abortion grief is one
such area I have worked with extensively.
I also have a special draw to
hurting church leaders and pastors.
Some face burnout while others are in the lonely place of needing to be
strong for other people while not feeling they have anyone with whom to share
their deep personal struggles. These
individuals often have no one in whom to confide when they feel betrayed by
those they are trying so hard to serve.
Mediating solutions between conflicting parties facing serious
differences is also an area I am able to address.
What special areas of experience or background do you bring to the counseling process?
My years of life experience is
probably one of the greatest assets I bring to the counseling arena. As a husband of one wife since 1980 and the
father of three natural born children and one adopted child, I have experienced
joys and sorrows in relating to people in family life, employment and other
social contexts. Having been raised in
a Christian family and having been in leadership roles for many years, I have
experienced many realities common to church life.
In addition, I have been faced
with the challenges of daily overcoming a permanent physical disability. Legally blind since birth, I cannot
participate in certain activities many take for granted. For example, I have never possessed a
driver's license, and access to much of the information in our increasingly
visually-oriented culture, is virtually out of reach. One positive outcome of consistently enduring trying
circumstances is a closer identification with other people's pain and
suffering. I experience a deeper level
of understanding and empathy for my clients' experiences, than I would had I
not been forced to grapple so intensely with the weakness of my own human
condition.
What is your general approach
to counseling?
Everyone can benefit from
counseling at one time or another in their life. Seeking help in dealing with life's difficult circumstances does
not make one a failure or mentally ill.
Counseling should not be something of which to be ashamed or
afraid. The more desirous one is of
freeing himself or herself from the burdens of their heart, the more useful
they can become to others in the world around them.
Counseling is simply a process
whereby the counselor helps the counselee walk through some basic steps of
evaluating events in their life. These
steps include, to first discover the real source of the difficulty (which may
not always be the problem on the surface), then look at various options for
dealing with the difficulty, and then walk the path of change to an outcome of
freedom. When left to our own human
nature, we often become very good at hiding and disguising our deepest
motivations (even from our own consciousness), we convince ourselves we are
doing great when we really are not, and consequently become stuck in patterns
and behaviors which trap us and destroy our peace.
I view my role as a counselor
as that similar to an optician. My aim
is to help the counselee look at situations through different lenses, scopes
and magnifiers. Cloudy or blurred
images can be brought into focus with the help of visual aids. By altering perception, a new perspective is
attainable. And with a new perspective,
change is achievable. My aim is not
necessarily to provide answers but to help guide the way to new avenues where
satisfactory answers can be found.
Does counseling always make
things better?
You've heard the phrase,
"no man is an island." An
individual who changes his or her beliefs and actions is naturally going to effect change on those around him. His
family, friends and co-workers may or may not respond positively to the
change. Most times the
"'system" or sphere in which a person lives, may also need to
change. For example, one individual in
a family who makes an adjustment of behavior, may require other individuals in
the family to make adjustments as well.
Other family members may not be ready or willing to make necessary
adjustments. Thus it may sometimes
appear as though things for an individual are moving in reverse while in fact
things are moving forward for that person.
Change can also be, by nature,
very uncomfortable.
What if counseling hasn't
worked?
The best way I can answer this
is to quote a story printed in Chicken Soup for the Soul at Work: 101
Stories of Courage, Compassion, and Creativity in the Workplace, c1996, edited by Jack Canfield et. al. on p51.
"Thank You for Believing
Me Well"
"The real act of discovery is not in finding new
lands, but in seeing with new eyes." Marcel Proust
"As a young social worker
in a New York City psychiatric clinic, I was asked to see Roz, a 20-year-old
woman who had been referred to us from another psychiatric facility. It was an unusual referral in that no
information was received ahead of her first appointment. I was told to "play it by ear,"
and to figure out what her problems were and what she needed.
Without a diagnosis to go on,
I saw Roz as an unhappy, misunderstood young woman who hadn't been listened to
in her earlier therapy. Her family
situation was unpleasant. I didn't see
her as disturbed, but rather as lonely and misunderstood. She responded so positively to being
heard. I worked with her
to start a life worth living-
to find a job, a satisfying place to live and new relationships. We hit it off well, and she started making
important changes in her life right away.
The records from the previous
psychiatric facility arrived a month after Roz and I began our successful work
together. To my complete surprise, her
records were several inches thick, describing a number of psychiatric
hospitalizations. Her diagnosis was
"paranoid schizophrenic," with a comment on her being "hopeless."
That had not been my
experience with Roz at all. I decided
to forget those pieces of paper. I
never treated her as if she had that "hopeless" diagnosis. (It was a lesson for me in questioning the
value and certainty of diagnoses.) I
did find out about the horrors for Roz of those hospitalizations, of being
drugged, isolated and abused. I also
learned a lot from her about surviving such traumatic circumstances.
First Roz found a job, then a
place to live away from her difficult family. vAfter several months of working
together, she introduced me to her husband-to-be, a successful businessman who
adored her.
When we completed our therapy,
Roz gave me the gift of a silver bookmark and a note that said, "Thank you
for believing me well."
I have carried that note with
me and I will for the rest of my life, to remind me of the stand I take for
people, thanks to one brave woman's triumph over a "hopeless"
diagnosis."
Judy Tatelbaum
Are you a licensed
professional counselor (LPC)?
I am licensed through the
Church, but not a state certified LPC.
What makes you different from
a state certified practitioner?
Although my training and
methodology is professional, it does not involve a purely clinical
approach. I do not diagnose mental
illness, for example, and I do not perform psychological examination and
assessment. For these types of services
I would need to refer you to a certified practitioner. I do however, accept counselees who have
previously been formally diagnosed or are currently seeing a psychologist or
psychiatrist.
A major difference involves
payment for services. Without state
certification, I cannot accept third party insurance company payment
arrangements. However, what I charge is
as much as 75% lower than the hourly fee for most clinical mental health
services.
Besides a much lower cost,
another advantage of paraprofessional pastoral counseling is the absence of the
need to label or diagnose a condition in order to receive treatment. In my opinion, labeling has the tendency to
complicate the recovery process as demonstrated in the example above in the
answer to the previous question.
What ethical standards govern
your practices?
I actively seek to maintain
the highest ethical standards according to the Scriptures, the American
Association of Christian Counselors (of which I am a member) and the American
Psychological Association (APA). I make
every effort to pursue the highest level of integrity and honesty in my
personal life and with others. I
maintain accountability relationships with pastors and professionals.
In counseling sessions,
consent must be obtained from the counselee before engaging in counseling
techniques. Confidentiality must be
honored in the strictest way possible in order to build trust and allow for the
greatest growth and change to take place.
Confidentiality may be breached in things the law may require, such as
the imminent threat to human life and child abuse.
What is your ultimate goal in
the treatment of individuals?
The Westminster Confession of
Faith Shorter Catechism says the chief aim of man is "to glorify God and
enjoy Him forever." When the first
sin was introduced into the world by Adam and Eve, it left its curse on every
person born into the human race until the end of time. Each of us is born with a distorted view of
God and our fellow man. We are by
nature selfish creatures. Although our
loving God accepts us as we are, our selfishness can create some enormous
problems when trying to relate to a God and to other human beings who tend to
be selfish also.
Our goal should be to become
more God-oriented in our beliefs, motivations, and behaviors. Therefore the ultimate goal is to help a
person gain a clearer and more accurate picture of who God really is. At first, this may seem like a ridiculously
high and lofty goal. I am not saying we
should ignore immediate issues at hand, but gaining God's perspective (outside
of ourselves) on these issues will make all the difference. God's love is limitless, and His mercy is
selfless.
How would you describe your
theoretical base (the way you approach
counseling methodology)?
Each person is a unique
expression of God's creative design. No
single approach can be applied to every individual with the same results. Therefore, I would consider myself eclectic
in approach, drawing from cognitive, experiential and other methods as
needed. All method are based on
Christian values.
How does your Christian faith
express itself in methodology?
In God's original design, we
were created to be "whole" in body, mind and spirit. Because of our fallen sinful nature we are
no longer whole or complete. In fact,
the Bible says we are spiritually dead in our transgressions and sins. Since we are spirit-beings, we need God's
Spirit to breathe life into our spirit.
So, first, God is the source of wholeness for our entire being. Any methodology must line up with God's
standards.
Our behavior springs from one
of two basic modes of operation -- mind or heart. Problems arise when our motivations are improperly balanced
between the thinking and feeling modes.
Focusing too much on cognitive solutions results in fruitless striving
and self-effort. Focusing too much on
inner feelings and desires results in trying to satisfy those desires with
counterfeit affections. So, secondly, to
maintain balance, methodology must address both mind and heart.
Man has a soul to bring these
two together. It is the Spirit of God
living within us that reveals areas of thinking and feeling which are out of
alignment with God's plan and purpose.
Counseling involves adjusting the belief system to more accurately
reflect God's truth. It also involves
working through feelings and emotions which may be blocking or choking the
truth.
Our belief system is shaped in
our earliest years of childhood. An
abusive father may consistently tell his daughter, for example, that she is
worthless and no good. She grows up
believing this, and not even aware of what she is doing, she seeks and marries
a husband just like her father. She
comes for counseling because the situation in her marriage becomes more
difficult to handle. She may be very
successful in her career and have many credentials to prove to her mind that
she is not worthless and no good, but her heart is surreptitiously seeking the
'no good' experience (because that is what she knows and feels 'comfortable'
with). This person, in my belief, needs
more than cognitive therapy to change her thinking processes, but she also
needs a change in her heart to heal the past experiences which are causing the
emotional pain in her present circumstances.
To receive genuine freedom, this may perhaps require forgiveness of her
father (not excusing what he did) and perhaps some other Christian
interventions which are not possible in her own strength, but only with the
help of God in her life.
What role does your Christian
faith play in the counseling process?
Everything! I do not force Christianity (or anything
for that matter) on anyone. However, my
faith in Christ as the redeemer of my naturally sinful condition, translates
into a personal relationship with God which carries through all aspects of my
life. I love my God because he first
loved me. I love and care for my
counselee because God first loves and deeply cares for him or her.
Prayer invites God's authority
and power into the process, therefore I pray and welcome the counselee to pray
when this is acceptable to him or her.
The Bible is the written word
through which God speaks to us, so at times I also use the Bible in the
process. The Bible also provides truth
which is practical and applicable to circumstances we face in life.
What causes change and growth
in individuals?
Relating to a personal
God. Only God can deeply change, grow,
redeem, restore, recover and heal. As a
counselor, my work is minimal in comparison to God's work in a person's
life. I view myself as a
facilitator. Anything I have to give in
the counseling process, is something I have already received from God.
Romans 12:2 says, "Do not
conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind." For change
and growth to take place, we must first welcome it as a way of life. The process of replacing old patterns with
new ways of thinking and acting, will continue as long as we are alive.
What is your view of
non-Christian or secular counseling?
I suppose the word incomplete
would describe it. Most of
nonChristian-based counseling focuses on gaining insight into problems and
adjusting negative behavior patterns.
I'm certainly not opposed to gaining deeper understanding and changing
behavior for the good. However, because
counseling without God at the center may not address what I believe to be the
core issues in life, gaining knowledge and changing external appearances
becomes limited in effectiveness.
Psychology without theology, in my opinion, merely identifies the
problems without providing lasting solutions.
Some progress in the right direction may be possible, but the spiritual
void cannot be filled without inviting God into the process.
I welcome any opportunities to
work with professionals who may not agree with this opinion. If I can assist with the spiritual aspects
of a client's health or offer services in a religiously congruent manner with the
client's beliefs, I am glad to do so.
Note: The remaining questions center around
specifics of Christian beliefs. If
this topic does not interest you, you need to read no further.
Should Christians only consult
Christian counselors?
I believe that a Christian
seeking help with a problem should first seek, and ideally find, the help he or
she needs within the Church (as opposed to seeking and finding help outside of
the church). I believe a trained
paraprofessional counselor like myself is equipped to serve most of the types
of needs that arise. Counseling is more
of a 'soul shepherding' ministry than a mental health service. Certainly there are some cases that need a
higher degree of professional help and referrals should be made in these
cases. However, pastors and church
leaders, in my opinion, should be seeking resources as much as possible in the
'soul care' category when looking for help.
I believe as our world becomes more desperate because of a greater
quantity and intensity of need, this will become an issue of larger scope as
people look to the Church for solutions.
It is my desire to be available to assist with this 'soul care'
ministry.
What is your definition of a
Christian?
One who trusts in Jesus Christ
for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of
eternal life (John 3:16;
Romans 10:9,10).
What faith confessions do you
hold?
Matthew 22:37-40 "Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest
commandment. And the second is like
it: 'Love your neighbor as
yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets
hang on these two commandments."
The Westminster Confession of
Faith is an excellent doctrinal statement.
What is your church
background?
At birth my parents were
attending a small nondenominational church.
During my childhood we attended several others like it and in my early
teens we became involved at an Assembly of God church in Shrewsbury, PA. After college my wife Stephanie and I became
involved as founding members with a new church in Lancaster, PA called
Lancaster Covenant Church (LCC). LCC is
a New Testament government style church which we were involved with about
thirteen years. Most recently we have
been involved with the Vineyard church.
First in Virginia Beach, VA for about two and a half years and now in a
church plant in Lancaster, PA.
How would you describe your
relationship with God?
My heart yearns for an ever
deeper relationship to experience more of the love of the Father, the obedience
of His Son, and the Power of His Spirit.
My desire is for more intimacy with the Father. I wish to be more like Christ, experiencing
His love and sharing it with others. I
also wish to walk a more Holy Spirit empowered life.
Theological/ Personal convictions:
Forgiveness is a gift. Forgiveness is at the heart of
transformation and sanctification.
Christ forgiving us gives us the power to forgive others. Forgiving our offender releases God's
supernatural power to work peace into the situation. Forgiveness does not mean sweeping offenses under the rug (so to
speak), but openly acknowledging the need for Christ's work on the Cross to
accomplish forgiveness in the deepest part of our heart. Unforgiveness towards God, ourselves, or
another person (1 or more of these 3) feeds into the root cause of almost every
relational issue we face.
God is a God of
community. Healing is all about
relationship; relationship to God and relationship to other people. It is in relationship that a person is hurt,
therefore, it is in relationship he or she is healed. Often it is the closest relationship in a person's life which
wounds him or her in the deepest way.
Depending on the degree of woundedness, sometimes a person may need more
than the support and encouragement of a counselor to pull through the
struggles.
As a counselor, I realize that
I am only one of a number of resources which must be available to a counselee
for long term growth and health.
Whenever possible, I welcome working with a pastor, church leader or
prayer partner as a team to help a counselee.
As a male counselor, I am sensitive not to allow an unhealthy emotional
attachment with a female counselee to develop.
There are depths in our heart
that can only be accessed through brokenness. Brokenness is not being sad about
how bad things are (or could be), but it is an awareness of an awesome God's
presence in the midst of life's deepest valley(s). Isaiah 66:2 says that God esteems "the humble and contrite
in spirit." In 2 Corinthians 12:10
Paul says, "for when I am weak, then I am strong." God's strength is perfected in human
weakness and brokenness before him.
Even when we do everything right according to 'the Book' things may not
always go our way or even the 'right' way.
God is still sovereign; nothing escapes his notice; and justice is in
his hands. A broken heart is a heart
that knows this truth experientially.
Our goal should not be to
erase history. The events of the past
cannot be changed, but our perspective on the events can change. In the book called Transformation of the
Inner Man by John and Paula Sandford on page 11 they write, "Christian
healing comes then not by making a broken thing good enough to work, but by
delivering us from the power of that broken thing so that it can no longer rule
us, and by teaching us to trust his righteousness to shine in and through that
very thing."
I do believe in absolute
truth. God's truth is the only absolute
truth.
Men and women are created
equal, but not the same (with equal worth but not fulfilling the same
function). There are unique
characteristics of maleness and femaleness.
In Ephesians 5:21-33 husbands
and wives are described in two separate categories, but both commanded to
submit 'to one another.' The husband's
role is designed for headship, but headship in the sense that he is leading the
way in his example of submitting to Christ and being like Christ (humble,
least, last, poor, not using force, laying down his life, not lording it over
and loving). A wife's role is described
as submitting to Christ in this way also and to encourage her husband and be a
helpmeet. A husband's role is to put
his wife first in all things (above career, ministry and all other
relationships) and the wife's role is to put her husband first in the same
way.
Sex is a gift from God and God
has given us guidelines for sexual intercourse. Premarital, extramarital, and same-sex sexual relationships are
all outside of these guidelines. “Safe sex” is reserved for the covenant of
monogamous marriage relationship. The
only safe sex is chaste sex. I like the
word chastity (as opposed to abstinence) because it reinforces God's design for
sexual relations in the covenant of marriage.
God hates divorce. Reconciliation is always the goal. Adultery and abandonment (or abuse) are the
only biblical grounds for divorce, but divorce should be considered only after
all possibilities for reconciliation have been exhausted in these cases
also. When physical harm is occurring
(abuse), separation is allowable.
Otherwise separation is not advised.
Scripture permits remarriage
after divorce if an unbelieving spouse committed adultery or abandoned the believing spouse. For divorce outside of these cases, remarriage should not be
considered. By all means, the
counselee's issues which contributed to the divorce should be explored and
dealt with. Then reconciliation should
be pursued.
The sanctity of life is
violated when the life of a pre-born child is aborted. I believe that life begins at conception. I also believe that the beginning and end of
life should be in God's hand and not man's.
An abortion-minded counselee should be educated on the many options
available for giving the baby life and for receiving help to handle the
situation with dignity for everyone involved.
A person who may have aborted a child in the past should be
unconditionally accepted and helped to understand God's wealth of forgiveness
available for the receiving.
Biographical Information:
Edward Hersh earned his M.A. in Human Service Counseling
from Regent University School of Psychology and Counseling in 2001. He is currently completing a Ph.D. program
in Biblical Counseling at Trinity Seminary.
Edward received the Outstanding Student Award in his program of study at
Regent University. Edward has completed
both basic and advanced level training in TheoPhostic and Elijah House healing
prayer ministry. Through his church,
he has provided pastoral counseling services to individuals and families for
several years.
Edward and his wife Stephanie (married since 1980) are
parents of four children and have been active in various community
organizations and active in local church ministry in various capacities
throughout their lives. Together they
have been active in the pro-life movement, having counseled women in all stages
of choosing alternatives to abortion, including post-abortion counseling. Together they co-founded and directed a
ministry to encourage youth to choose chastity.
Ed instructs blind and visually
impaired persons in the use of adaptive computer technology at the Susquehanna
Association for the Blind and Vision Impaired. In Lancaster, PA.
Ed and his family also operate Blue Rock Bed and Breakfast
at 72 Blue Rock Rd., Millersville, PA
http://bluerockbnb.com
. Ed also offers counseling with
accommodations at the B & B.