a moving van
Did you buy a mini van?back to p.a.m.v.


One day I was at the gas station getting my tank filled. A minivan pulled
in behind me. He finished getting his gas before me and was anxious to
leave. Instead of going out the driveway of the gas station. He decided
to exit over a low curb. Well.... There was a fire hydrant there. He
caught the passenger side of his van on the big bolt that sticks out of
the hydrant. It made quite an interesting sound as the hydrant opened
the side of his van like a can opener. The gash was about six inches by
four feet. The fool kept driving after he first hit it. He finally
stopped to see what the noise was. He got out the drivers side and
stood scratching his head. Finally he walked over to the passenger side
and saw the damage. How typical! 

I once had a job that unfortunately required me to drive a mini van. I am
not a tall person so I had to have the seat pulled all the way up. I was
really surprised to find that it was almost impossible to roll the window
down with the seat in this position. Maybe it's not so much poor drivers
as it is poor design.

Just today we were cut-off by a beige boxy-creature, coasting across four lanes of traffic, right to left,(and of course the RIGHT turn signal was blinking for the remaining miles of the journey). And, the driver was chatting gleefully on a cell-phone!!!

A dangerous combination...

i live in a dense residential area with lots of new families and
therefore, lots of new minivans. i also work at a local professional
center that includes offices for a dentist, a doctor, and of course
pediatician, so there are a whole lot of minivans in the parking lot.
anyway, i just got off work one day, and was on my way through the
parking lot to my car, i was just ready to put my key in the door, when
out of nowhere, this woman in a dodge caravan comes screaming around the
corner, she's looking in the backseat, fussing with her baby, with no
clue as to where she was going. she ended up plowing into the side of
my car. i drive a 1990 chevy blazer, which is built like a tank, but she
managed to demolish the whole left side and when she got out started
yelling at me for parking my car where i did (i guess i'm not supposed
to park in parking spaces). she ended up having to pay for the repairs
on my truck, but i still have higher insurance rates now.

mike styczynski

I am 23 years old and by no means feel proud in saying that yes, I too own a mini van.
Unfortunately it was more of a logical choice than an effort to get the babes.
I drove across country from Massachusetts to California and needed something to sleep in.
Being in my position, though, does provide an interesting opportunity to smash minivan stereotypes in American society. I like to blow by people doing 90 in the right lane,
spew obsenities, and occassionally throw beer cans out the window. This is all of course for show and I wouldn't do it if it weren't for my love of people.
I love people. Someday I hope to drive my minivan off of a cliff and watch it explode in a cactus-strewn ravine...but this is all far off in the distant future.
For now, I'll have to get by looking like a soccer mom. Love those drink holders by the way!

Hi there, Thanks for providing this great site for all of us non minivan users so that we can vent our rage. My friends recently bought a minivan, and they instantly started acting all "weird" they are a 20 something couple with no kids, and as soon as they got it they started talking about how cool it was. "it's got 8 cupholders!!!! I can have 2 drinks because I have 2 cupholders!!!!" they started driving really shitty, and acting like they were middle-aged soccer moms (No offence to soccer moms). I think that if you want to instantly age 10 years and lose all street cred' you should go out and buy one. I also think that anyone who purchases one should be forced to have a psychiatric examination and a repeat driver's test. These are not practical vehicles! I always hear about how they have such great visibility, but you know what?.. If all these idiots weren't driving minivans in the first place we wouldn't HAVE any visibility problems. And if you didn't have so many cro-magnon nose picking little brats in the first place you could drive a CAR, and not piss so many people off

One weekend my friends and I were traveling down from the mountains.  We
were on a very narrow winding road littered with "SLOWER TRAFFIC USE
PULLOUTS" signs and about 40 pullouts over a thirty mile distance.  The
first few slow cars moved over for me but then there was the green minivan.
This van was packed with the whole family even the grandparents.  It was
traveling at half the speed limit and was riding the brakes (even on uphill
slopes).  After we passed a few signs and some pullouts I became irritated.
All of us in my car started pointing and then honking at the pullouts and
the signs.  And the minivan just kept going. We then drove with the horn
held down.  Didn't do anything.  When we finally got to the base of the
mountain and were able to pass them, everyone in my car stuck both of their
hands out the window with their middle fingers displayed.  I wonder if there
are any stats. on how many minivan drivers are victims of road rage?

I must say this has been a very colorful introduction by many people of
themselves.  First I have to say that my beloved NISSAN was hit and
killed and been sent to the big NISSAN graveyard in the sky.....the
unforgiving assailant was a minivan who rear ended us at 70 MPH on the
Aaskan HWY.  This incident was in the month of February....can we say
black ice.  The curious thing is this....upon exiting his minivan the
driver upon seeing my two children on the side of the road at 30
below......says to my husband...."did you see snowmobile lights in the
ditch?"   Needless to say we were quite at a loss for words at that.  I
have since replaced my beloved NISSAN with another NISSAN....only this
one is a NISSAN QUEST MINIVAN!!!!!!!!!!!  I am now going to be the
driver of the unforgiving juggernaut that destroys somones prize car.
This is my REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!  To my fellow friends who drive those 4WD
trucks and SUVs......I am so sorry to see you in the ditch all winter
long all down the Alaskan Highways and Byways as I drive smooth and
carefree in my big warm DEVIL MOBILE.  A minivan kicked my ass
once....NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!   HELL ON WHEELS

A buddy of mine was driving an old ('91) caravan one time, and the steering wheel came off in
his hands. Luckily, he was in a mall parking lot (where else in a minivan), and was able to stop.
That one must have been built on a Friday in Detroit.

One day I was crossing the road to get to my mail, a big fat mom plowed into
me with her big fat mini van and took off my leg.  It was the worst thing
that ever happened to me.  If it wasn't for her big fat mini van i would
still have my right leg.  The doctors all said if it was a smaller vehicle i
would still have my leg.  But no it is all rapped up in her grill.


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