HERE'S WHAT YOU SAID

Just today we were cut-off by a beige boxy creature, coasting across four lanes of traffic, right to left, (and of course the RIGHT turn signal was blinking for the remaining miles of the journey). And, the driver was chatting gleefully on a cell phone!!! A dangerous combination...

I live in a dense residential area with lots of new families and therefore, lots of new mini vans. I also work at a local professional center that includes offices for a dentist, a doctor, and of course pediatrician, so there are a whole lot of minions in the parking lot. anyway, I just got off work one day, and was on my way through the parking lot to my car, i was just ready to put my key in the door, when out of nowhere, this woman in a dodge caravan comes screaming around the corner, she's looking in the back seat, fussing with her baby, with no clue as to where she was going. she ended up plowing into the side of my car. I drive a 1990 chevy blazer, which is built like a tank, but she managed to demolish the whole left side and when she got out started yelling at me for parking my car where I did (I guess I'm not supposed to park in parking spaces). she ended up having to pay for the repairs on my truck, but I still have higher insurance rates now.

Well, every time I get behind one of those mini vans I can't see in front of me. Those mini vans also always put their brakes on for no reason. I hate those darn things... A lot of people I work with have them. And when they need a new car, they go out and buy another one. Maybe they secretly want to be Sped van drivers or bus drivers! I saw one of my co-workers looking through the paper for a new vehicle. I said "oh what kind of new car are you planning on buying" he told me that he didn't want a car, he wanted a mini van !!! I gasped! I said "what do you want one of those things for?" He said because they were really cool!!

i cant believe people are judging a class of vehicles on the drivers who drive them we all have our own faults at driving none of us are perfect but get real those stories you are telling the people would have problems driving if they were driving a corvette or your average everyday car. I have 3 kids now and am faced with the problem of not enough space in my monte carlo i hate the looks of those mini vans but just might have to get one do to seating and pricing and gas mileage. Its tough enough to have kids and go from a beautiful convertible to a monte carlo now to the dreaded mommy mobile without these kind of web sites

No offense, but please don't cut mini vans down. The people who drive them are not always women, older people, and people who have children. I'm 18 and in a wheelchair, so I have to drive a mini van.

Hi. I was making my "I hate Mini vans Page" when I decided to do a search on the subject. I found your page. I LOVE IT! I have a few stories of my own.... here is why I hate mini vans: I hate mini vans because every time you drive behind them, they suddenly slow down. That's when you fuck with them. You can tail them, pull in front of them then slow down until they try to pass you, then you speed up. If they beep their horn, flick them off and speed down a side street.

no subject                                                                                                                         Sun, 7 Feb 1999

I can't wait to get a mini van, I have only 2 kids but that is enough to need a mini van and with the way the mobile car seats are made today, I really could use built in seats. So don't knock a mini van until you have tried one.
And I agree not all Mini van drivers are bad ones I've seen a lot of Mitsubishi eclipse who also keep there blinker on, hit there breaks every two blocks, and pull out in front of you like they own the road. so don't assume its only MINI VANS. get real.

he he I'm glad to finally find a group of people who share my opinions on the mini vans.
So as far as I'm concerned, all I got to say is lets round 'em up and burn them to the ground.

Mini-van haters, stand and be proud!                                                                        Wed, 10 Feb 1999
 

I can't believe that people are using kids as an excuse to drive one of those horrid sloth mobiles. It's bad enough that they're having kids. I am a staunch non breeder for more reasons than mini vans. It's those kind of people who breed more mini van culture. What's going to happen
to those kids? They're going to grow up thinking that it's okay to own an mini van,
stink up the land with their filth and irritate the non breeders.
We have to put a stop to it. I say castrate all the mini van drivers. It may seem a radical decision, but it's going to be well worth it. The world will be a better place for all of us.

You people are Stupid for thinking mini-vans are Dangerous or ugly
(and for the kid that got the Z24 my 1989 Chevy Astro could out-run that little 4-Banger any day of the week). My Chevy Astro had 390,000 on it before the motor finally gave out and even then the only thing that happened to it is the main oil bearing spun and my oil presure
shot up and screwed up the motor. As it sits right now it has a 4.3 liter V6 in it with tilt, cruise, and power everything and it still get 20 miles to the gallon (freeway) and 18 miles to the gallon (other).  So to you people who don't like mini-vans for whatever reason

Thanks for the good laugh, I needed that. My wife just totaled my mini van and tomorrow I am going to buy another.  Some fool ran a red light and plowed into my wife , see was bruised but ok. If see was driving a VW like you own she would be dead right now....

      How funny it is to see that there are "real" men and women out there
who feel the same as I do about the dreaded mini vans and their drivers.
You ever notice that when the man is driving the "family" around town, he looks
rather miserable. Maybe the boss sitting next to him decided for him, that a minion would be a cool and practical thing to have.
Maybe if these people would just glance at their instrument panel, they would notice that they have been driving around with the light on that says "service engine soon".   Get the hint...... It's time to take it off the road and keep it there.

Mini vans are bad, bad, bad, bad. They are not good. Not good, not good, not good. They are
 driven by fat people. Fat, fat, fat, people. Now moped. There's a quality vehicle. Everyone should
 own at least 1. Many people, such as my self ,own 5 or 6. Oh and you can't forget the trust worthy chevette. Now that is one amazing car. You can get them in a variety of colors. such as brown or white. Sometimes even a dark orange. They come with great trailer hitches, and they are super for off-roading. So make sure you get a moped if you don't already have one and Chevettes are  great gifts too!!!

I do understand the boy with 5 mopeds, has to have that many just to besure something starts and gets him down to the mall... I would like to see him and his chevette mate the trip from Dallas, TX to Juno, Alaska with a wife and i child...or where do you stick a wheelchair and luggage. By the way more fat-boys drive things they can hardly get into.

I guess that if spending time with your family isn't high on your list then you don't need a van. But for those of us who actually take meaningful time out for our families it's the only way to go.
It's fast enough for me to not miss my Mustang 5.0 GT. It has room enough for my wife to haul her business stuff from craft show to craft show.
It is safe and roomy enough to go on a 7000 mile road trip in November from Alaska to the lower 48. It is good for the environment- the only thing that gets close to it in pounds hauled/mpg is my one ton pickup(diesel).
And last but not least is the fact that the dogs get to go with us- what's more American than that?

Come now - a site against mini-vans!  That's like being against apple pie and motherhood.
I fail to see a stereotypical mini-van driver - no type of vehicle corners the market on bad drivers - unless of course, it is the drivers of a Corvette, a red cars, a car with air scoops and air
foils, a red-neck pickup trucks, etc.  I will admit that yuppies in the suburbs do like their mini-vans just like the previous generation like their station wagons.

I am 23 years old and by no means feel proud in saying that yes, I too own a mini van.  Unfortunately it was more of a logical choice than an effort to get the babes.
I drove across country from Massachusetts to California and needed something to sleep in.  Being in my position, though, does provide an interesting opportunity to smash mini van stereotypes in American society.  I like to blow by people doing 90 in the right lane, spew obscenities, and occasionally throw beer cans out the window.
This is all of course for show and I wouldn't do it if it weren't for my love of people.  I love people.  Someday I hope to drive my mini van off of a cliff and watch it explode in a cactus strewn ravine...but this is all far off in the distant future.  For now, I'll have to get by looking like a soccer mom.

Dear Jerk Off,

            I happen to own a Chevy Astro van, I am a junior in high school and I by far have the kickest ass car at my school. You say that old people drive vans and stupid people drive vans, and slow drivers drive vans. Well I bet you anything my Astro could beat your crappy car in a race. And you know what? YOU SUCK. And if you dont put this story up on your little crappy message board you are a stupid fat bitch.
See you in hell,

                                               From the baddest
                                                     ass Astro van driver
                                                            out there

For the Idiot that thinks his ASTRO VAN can beat any crappy car
we own I would like to see  him beat my CAMARO.  Some people are just fucking stupid.

Hi there, Thanks for providing this great site for all of us non mini van users so that we can vent our rage.

My friends recently bought a mini van, and they instantly started acting all "weird" they are a 20 something couple with no kids, and as soon as they got it they started talking about how cool it was.  "it's got 8 cup holders!!!! I can have 2 drinks because I have 2 upholders!!!!"  they started driving really shitty, and acting like they were middle-aged soccer moms
(No offense to soccer moms).
I think that if you want to instantly age 10 years and lose all street cred' you should go out and buy one.  I also think that anyone who purchases one should be forced to have a psychiatric examination and a repeat driver's test.

These are not practical vehicles! I always hear about how they have such great visibility, but you know what?..
If all these idiots weren't driving mini vans in the first place we wouldn't HAVE any visibility problems. And if you didn't have so many Cro-Magnon nose picking little brats in the first place you could drive a CAR, and not piss so many people off

I am not going to piss and moan about an inanimate object whose
do's and don'ts are decided by care free drivers who do anything on the road but
drive.  I drive a Saturn, nice and sporty car, and day in and day out I see the
morons who run our roads like the banshees from hell.
THEY piss me off.
THEY are the dangers to our society, the mini van or the sports car or the station
wagon, all are just the weapons these idiots choose to duel with.
Mini Vans are not particularly graceful looking swans on these rivers of asphalt
but I have seen uglier ducklings.  Take the low riders for instance.
These vehicles remind me of a hog, on my grandfather's farm, who's life was spent
wallowing in the muck of mud and feces.  This was an ugly creature; as ugly as the
behemoths whose belly scrapes against the speed bumps in 25 mph zones.
What I am saying is don't be pissed off at the Mini van.  Be pissed off at the drivers who
are insensitive to their surroundings.

I honestly HATE mini vans.  For some strange reason, people feel
that once they get married and knocked up, they are entitled to go out and
purchase one of the most ugly, hulking, unsexy vehicles known to man.
Mini vans should be reserved for businesses and handicap people.  Having
2-3 kids does not justify having one of these vehicles. They are foul!! You
can not pull out of a parking spot with out nearly getting out of you car to
see around them for any oncoming cars. Every time I see a mini van, I see a
has been. A typical oh-dear-lets-run-to-the-mall-suburban person who use to be
a unique  person.  Now they are a drone of the "work force 9-5, let's put
our kids in daycare" person.  I see a person who use to have goals to help
the world, become a society slave, because this is what is expected of
them.  I know of one young lady who once aspired to be a physician who got
pregnant in her first year of marriage, she now wants a mini van because it is
"the right thing to do".   What the hell does that mean? So you are saying
that I have to look like one of these "mousy looking, use to be attractive,
I only get dressed up to go to weddings and funerals, I wear only tennis
and jeans, I have no life drones"?
Now I sit back and I laugh at these people.  The ugly, now-I-am-fat and
unattractive, soccer moms and the beer-gut-nasty-turkey-necked
daddies are now a source of humor for me and my friends.  We do have our
homes, marriages, children, with nice incomes. But we drive sports
cars, sports coupes, cars that we desire. Not a car that society says I must
drive.  My own mother in her 50's even drives a sports car convertible. She
refuses to look like that haggard mother type.  She believes as I do
mini vans are quite unsexy, and god awful, and yes, people are what they drive.

WILD APPLAUSE I love your web site!
Nice to see there are others out there who share my disdain for those yuppie
mobiles!!!

this has to be the most ignorant website i have seen.  the world is going to hell when you all don't have anything
better to do than trash middle class america.  are you all jealous of what we have, whhich by the way is great, or what?
.

Why is it that people who drive those mini vans tend to tailgate? They have a bunch of kids with them and
they still drive like idiots.  It is mainly the woman who drive like a bat out of H...!
Also, the people who drive a mini van speed, cut you off, and leave there turn signal on for miles.

I absolutely cannot stand the morons who write in to say how the world is going to hell just because people have time to create sites 'against middle America'  What-EVER!!!  Are you jealous because you have no imagination or a sense of humor?  See... the f'am-mobile'  has just sucked all of that out of you.  HA!  I think this site is so hilarious!  How dare you DEATH PLOW drivers bash such a unique and entertaining site.  Lighten up fools.....the world isn't getting any friendlier.

I have hated mini vans for years!!! I am convinced that if you are a lousy driver they GIVE you a mini van.
Hulking, ugly moon buses. No style, not the car nor the moron driving. It doesn't help matters that I abhor kids.
Watch, I and my poor little Triumph will be mowed down by a cell phone jabbering mom driving to the video
store while attempting to change a diaper. Retch.

I live in Hawaii where the cost of living and the cost of
housing had me
worried that I might have to live in my car from time to time as
well as
being a living quarters when I'm on one of my outdoor sports
jaunts. The
Toyota minivan I bought was perfect because the seats laid out
into a bed of
sorts (just a bit lumpy) and the rack I put on top carried four
kayaks and
two mountain bikes. Well, now I have two babies and one on the
way and my
time in the outdoors has disappeared but my need of a four door
van has
increased. I would rather vent my frustration at people who
throw cigarette
butts out the window trying to keep their annoying habits out of
their car
and polluting the rivers and oceans for everyone else.

I am not particularly crazy about mini vans but I own one.  Why?
Because I
hate referring 3 boys while I drive.  When I am in the van, they
QUIETLY
and CONTENTEDLY sit and read or act in other civilized manners.
I would
look sooo much cooler cruising around in a Firebird with three
kids
pounding each other in the back seat, but I think I'll keep the
van.

Also, your inane comment about how bad the drivers are in
minivans...how
about all those nice little students who come to Canada from
other
countries to study.  The first thing they do is go out and buy a
sports car
and then drive around in such a manner that they are a menace to
society,
rack up their cars, hike our insurance rates and then high tail
it back to
their motherland with their Doctrates.  Makes me angry!

Some day I will dump the minivan and buy something more fun to
drive, more
sporty
and a whole lot of things the van isn't.  But in the meantime, I
will enjoy
the comfort and convenience of my van because it does better
what no car
could ever hope to do!

I can see it now ,this shallow end of the gene pool
(p.a.m.v)finaly rids the
world of the evil mini van!the new web site becomes
(p.a.f.v)people against
full size vans,when your mission is complete and the world is
safe from this
evil,I guess it will be (p.a.s.u.v),next it will be (p.a.p.u)I
guess the
world is free of all evil!But wait people against stupid crap is
not
satisfied!they feel the need to choose our living space,what we
eat and so
on!I just think you paranoid pinheads need a doctor ,a lot of
prozac and
very desperately you need to get a
life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey great web page!  I like to see a place where people can share their opposing views without interference.   I
have to make a few comments since I'm now a minivan owner. . .  as well as a drag racer and high performance
freak!  When my mini pulls out into traffic,   chances are you will be hard pressed to keep up!

  To the guy with a the Camaro,  don't be too quick to judge minivans when it comes to straight line
performance!  As of August 99,  my 87 V8 Astro is running low-low 14's at 97+ mph in the 1/4.  You can see it
at ASTRONEWS.     I also know of a Dodge caravan (I consider these a
MINI-mini-van) that is running low 13's at well over 100 mph and has ran way into the 12's on a little spray!
You can see his van at MINI !

 Some minivans deserve respect,  but to all of those other minivans out there...  blah!  Especially those
unlovable Ford Aerostars!!

I live in the Washington, DC metro area and I have to drive the surrounding beltway every day. We are #2 in bad
traffic right behind Los Angeles. Mini vans plague this town. I compare a mini van on the road as a cockroach
scurrying around on the floor. I have been behind too many of those damned things. More than once I have been
behind one, the driver is reaching back beating their kids and not paying attention to the road, and then all of the
sudden I see brake lights. Thank goodness I have ABS.

For a period of time I had a delivery job and I got behind those things toting around the suburbs one too many
times. When the speed limit is 35 they will go 32. It drove me nuts. Too much of that pushed me over the edge. I
despise mini vans to this day.

I assume mini van drivers have half a brain and I drive accordingly to assure that my car does not get hit by one. I
am a very considerate driver. I do not tailgate and I use my turn signal when I change lanes. When a mini van cuts
in front of me, not using its turn signal, I turn into the aggressive driver that plagues news reports. I consider it the
best approach to get in front of the mini van by any means necessary. The drivers are too dumb and too unsafe for
me to trust them to brake in enough time in event of a sudden stop. I am actually surprised when I see a
considerate mini van driver. I assume it's a rental.

Note too all mini van drivers in the D.C. Metro area: in event that you are stupid and you cut in front of me and you
see an Acura pull up next to you and throw something at you out of a sunroof...that's just me paying my disrespect
to you. I despise you solely by the fact that you drive a mini van. I am sure you are a very nice person, but based on
the rules of the road I see you as an incompetent idiot driving a box with wheels. I am only acting in accordance to
too many instances of threats to my personal safety. If you buy any other vehicle, signal that you want to get over a
lane in bumper to bumper traffic, I will be that person who slows down so you can change lanes. If you drive a
mini van, I will speed up based on the threat that your piece of crap will be in front of my car and I will have to worry
about you slamming on your brakes because of your daily inattentive driving habits.

If I see a mini van broken down on the side of the road, I smile. If I see a fender bender with a mini van involved
(mind you, not a serious accident) I will roll down my window and yell, "It's the mini van's fault! It always is!"

Please consider this in your next vehicle purchase...you are driving what is a roach. People like to step on
roaches because they are foul and disgusting.

AMAZING! I TYPE IN " I HATE MINI VANS" ON MY SEARCH ENGINE, AND AM GRATIFIED TO SEE
THAT OTHER SANE, RATIONAL PEOPLE OUT THERE DESPISE THE BARNEYMOBILE AS MUCH AS I
DO. MINI VAN DEALERS SHOULD BE SUBJECT TO MANDATORY EUTHANASIA, AND THEIR
"DRIVERS" LOCKED IN A PADDED ROOM WITH 200 SCREAMING, DRIBBLING, WHINING BRATS (AND
NO BATHROOM...) I HATE MINI VANS FOR MORE REASONS THAN I CAN COUNT, BUT THESE ARE A
FEW...

1. THEY DRIVE LIKE THE LIVING DEAD (20 KM/H UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT...)
2. YOU CAN'T SEE AROUND THEM (I'M SURE AN BAZOOKA COULD SOLVE THIS PROBLEM...)
3. THEY CAN'T PARK WITHOUT TAKING 1 1/2 TO 2 PARKING SPACES, BECAUSE THE DRIVER IS INCOMPETENT...
4. FAT PEOPLE DRIVE THEM...
5. WHEN THEIR CARGO OF INSIPID RUG RATS EXIT THE VEHICLE, THEY PUT DENTS IN MY F*****G CAR...
6. THEY PLAY THEIR BARNEY MUSIC SO LOUD, I NEED 1200 WATTS OF STEREO SYSTEM TO DROWN IT OUT...
7. THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME...
8. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THEY'RE UGLYUGLYUGLYUGLYUGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. F.A.V STANDS FOR "FAMILY ASSAULT VEHICLE" IF YOU WERE CURIOUS... DEATH TO ALL
MINI VANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please let it be known on your site that I need a mini van terribally..I will buy it for  $3,000...Thanks

I think all of you idiots posting these hate filled messages about
minivans
and their drivers are in reality angry about your own miserable
situations in
life, and like any other loser, must find someone else to blame.

Grow up people, if you don't want to share the road with everyone,
sell your
cars and walk. But then you will most likely find something else to
bitch
about, like kids riding tricycles on the sidewalk.

The U.S. Census Bureau announced today (10/19/99) that my home state,
Minnesota, is the No. 1 state in the union when it comes to mini vans.
There is one mini van for every 10.92 licensed drivers.  It seems like
one out of every four vehicles on the road is one of these dreaded
pieces of crap.  Here in America we all have the right to choose and
buy whichever vehicle we want, which is the way it should be.
However, if you choose to drive one of these overgrown station wagons
please stay the hell out of the left hand lane on the freeways.
Please stay in the right hand lanes so you can eat, drink, talk on the
phone, swat your kids, etc.  The left hand lane is for fast moving
vehicles and passing.  Nine out of ten left hand lane traffic
blockages in MN are caused by mini vans.

I was recently on a business trip to Las Vegas with three other
co-workers.  Right off the bat, I'd decided that we'd rent a mini van
so
there'd be enough room for all our bags.  It was interesting because
most people treat mini vans like they belong in the slow lane.  I
thought
that I'd kill that stereotype by breaking every traffic and speed law
possible.  Often times, I'd even drive on the dirt shoulder just to
pass
some weirded out couple in a Cadillac.  I put that rental mini van to
good use by driving the shit out of it and using it as an SUV rather
than a mini van.  It's NOT the mini van itself.... it's the friggen
idiots
who are mostly driving them.
Pete

What is it with Mini Van Drivers?  Everywhere I turn, I see Kids floating free in the backs of Mini Van's.  Don't
these People Know that these Kids are projectiles waiting to be launched through the vehicle at the first Quick stop.
Buckle Up these Little Carpet Munchers before the go flying through the back of some Moms Head.

If these soccer vans are so damned great, why is the one in front of
me
always going ten miles under the speed of traffic and the one behind me
always
ten miles faster than the ACD from my rear bumper?  Why is the female
driving
always looking back to yell at her passengers?  Why is the guy driving
one
always yacking on his cell phone while looking down at the notes he's
scribbling, while ignoring the fact that he is too close to my car?
And why
the hell don't they watch before blowing onto thoroughfares from
driveways?

Mini vans make me see RED!  I drive for a
living, and live in Columbus, Ohio.  It never
seems to amaze me that a mini van driver
can drive in the PASSING LANE at 5 mph
BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT, and not even
notice the line of traffic building up behind
them.  They seem oblivious to the fact that
there is nothing but OPEN HIGHWAY ahead
of them, and the rest of the state waiting to
get around them.  Take off the frigging
blinders and move your ass over in the slow
(minded) lane where you belong.  Just
because you have all day to get Precious to
Chucky Cheese', use your little head and
realize that the rest of us have a job to do
and a life to live, and the hour I save by not
sitting behind your slow ignorant butt I really
cherish.  In closing, realize your handicap,
and don't impose it on the rest of us.

Your friend,
                    The CoffeeMan

We own a 1988 Chev Astro. Ugly and bumpy, like a truck--coz it IS a
truck, not a true mini-van. Proof? Rear-wheel drive, heavy-duty towing
capacity. But what a sad excuse for an engine the 4.3 litre V6.
Solution? Stuff in a V8. 305s and 350s fit. I'm about to put a 305
from
a Camaro IROC into our Astro. 300 hp plus. With the 5-speed manual and
the extra weight to stop it from pitching like a dinghy in a gale, it
should be both practical (size) and fast--but still ugly. So to all
you
people who hate minivans, I sympathize--most are driven badly by
distracted people, poor things. Most are hopelessly underpowered,
handle
badly, look worse. Many of the ranters seem to have an aesthetic
problem
with minivans, but are so worked up that they can express only rage,
not
distaste. Poor things. Save your rage for something that deserves it,
like lo-fat ice cream or Hyundais.

I am a single mother and have been driving for over 25 years with my
vehicles consisting of fast sporty cars, well I now have two children
going into their teen years, I plan on keeping my 82 Trans Am Cross
Fire
Infection car, but I am also in the midst of purchasing my first
minivan.
I am neither fat nor ugly I am 5 feet and 105 pounds, I am an
excellent
driver, the only time I have been in an accident has been the other
persons fault (they were drunk) and driving a 4X4 TRUCK.  I love speed
when I drive, but I also like comfort.  I look forward to having a
minivan and being able to transport my children without listening to
them complain about having no where to put their feet, also to be able
to say yes if they have a friend or two that want to go with us.  You
just can't transport your family in any kind of comfort in a car.  To
the person that feels people that have kids are crazy obviously has
never had the opportunity to enjoy the pleasures of being a parent, as
children are the most wonderful gift a person can receive, children
give
meaning to life and only an ignorant(unknowing) person would make
comments against having a family.  If you do not have
family......."WHAT
DO YOU HAVE".......a meaningless life, void and empty.  MINIVANS
RULE.....THEY WILL DO THE SPEED LIMIT OR BETTER......PEOPLE WHO DRIVE
THEM LIKE IDIOTS ARE IDIOTS, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE VEHICLE, AS
THESE PEOPLE WOULD BE A HAZARD ON THE ROAD EVEN IF THEY WERE DRIVING A
CAR OR A TRUCK INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN.....MAYBE EVEN MORESO.
It is really too bad there are so many shallow minded people in our
society.
YOU PEOPLE WHO HATE MINIVANS MAYBE SHOULD GET SOME HELP TO FIND OUT
EXACTLY WHY YOU FEEL SO THREATENED BY OTHER PEOPLE ON THE ROAD, MAYBE
YOU NEED TO TURN IN YOUR LICENSE, AS YOU ARE PROBABLY MORE OF A HAZARD
ON THE ROAD THEN ANYONE ELSE AS YOU HAVE A MAJOR ATTITUDE PROBLEM AND
IT
MOST LIKELY SHOWS IN YOUR ABILITY TO "SHARE THE ROAD".

I have to agree with the hot rodded astro van. I to am purchassing a
new
2000 astro van, CAN'T WAIT.Further more, I would like to challange the
thinking of those that appose the beloved mini. We have in our garage
a
1969 Pontiac convertable firebird with 300 ponies under the hood, and
would be more than happy to run it against any little wana be that
thinks there yuppie mobile has what it takes. We also have a rather
cool
4x4 as well. Does this make us really that uncool????? I THINK NOT!!!

OK, THAT IS IT!! First off, the haggard woman with the 82 Trans Am
“whatever whatever with the bold type” car is exactly the type of
typical bullshit people we hate! Lady… get a clue! Maybe the fact that
since you can not find a spouse (oh single woman with the spread open
legs, who could not help but reproduce before finding a decent family
unit to raise her womb fruit) makes you evil and stupid, but your
ignorance is not welcomed here. I give permission to anyone to flame
this poor example of a real woman. Who gives a crap about your ability
to have avoided accidents that were not your fault? The purpose of the
page is to yell, rampage, and spit fire at the most disgusting vehicle
on this earth. It is a product of middle-america (Yes I said it –and I
will say it again), for those who deemed it necessary that since you
HAD to have childruuuunnnn, you have to try upset everyone else by
actually wasting your money on a MINIVAN. Honestly, what good reason
did you have for buying a minivan?  Are you actually saying that you
HAD to buy a minivan? You just knew deep in your soul, “oh dear, I
have to buy a minivan”. You would have been better buying an SUV or
something that can give you at least (what you are lacking) some class
and dignity. And what kind of mother are you? If your children HAD to
learn to ride in a car or a truck, where is your discipline when they
start  bitchin’ & whinin’? They should learn to behave. If you can't
be a woman, at least pretend to be one for your kid's sake.

And what is with the “oh please populate our world” speech? Now, not
only is she plugging the minivan, but, she is now saying “as children
are the most wonderful gift a person can receive, children give
meaning to life and only an ignorant (unknowing) person would make
comments against having a family. If you do not have family "WHAT DO
YOU HAVE"....a meaningless life, void and empty.  Just remember folks,
this is an unwed, single mother! She is preaching to us about the
"virtues" of the minivan, when she has left hers at the bed of a man
who sperm donated her chilldruuuunnn OK and the lesson is WHAT?? Help
me out here! WHAT A BITCH!
On the other side of the spectrum, may I formally say  “Not buying a
brat box (aka minivan) is the most wonderful things a person can do
for themselves, instead we celebrate by purchasing sports cars, SUV’s,
or any car with style and only an ignorant (possibly jealous) person
would make comments promoting or caught buying a minivan. If you have
a minivan "WHAT DO YOU HAVE"....a meaningless life, void and empty.

Maybe YOU should get some help to find out exactly why you feel so
threatened by this web page (and others who feel even remotely bothered
by it).  Maybe you need to turn in your uterus, as you are probably
more of a hazard then anyone else on this board. You are the one with
the major attitude problem and it most likely shows in your inability
to comprehend that this is a board that “hates minivans” and anyone
who disagrees can kiss off.  You do not belong here any more than we
belong on a web page spewing the option features and price tags of
minivans. We have this right. Just as we have the right to remain
childless, suburbia less, spouseless (which I am not), and most of all
happy. Now go the fuck away!

From one woman (bitchy, rude, haggard, I say, h-a-g-g-a-r-d) to
another (married, gorgeous, child free, and minivan free woman about to
trade in her 3000GT for a Viper or maybe a nice SUV…in case I decide
to have a child or two.)

To begin i could give two shits about
minivans...they're out
there and they are sometimes piloted by those with small brains with
phones
attached to their head and kids flying all around the cabin....anyway
my
simple and main complaint is to the first respondent to the Trans Am
lady
who claimed that any opinion she had was null and void simply because
she
was a single mother...being a child raised mostly by my mom who is
divorced
"twice" (oh shit im a going to hell and jerry falwell gonna make sure
i do)
and i feel that the love she gave me was the only important factor in
my
raising.  I have no inclinations to commit murder or grand theft
whatever.
To imply that someone's entire existence is void due to single
motherhood is
right up there with ideals held by a man named Hitler or
Reagan/bush/Quayle/falwell/rooney..its all the same..thanks for being
so
ignorant....I hope someone "backs you up" all the way to your
loneliness

I own a maroon Aerostar and hate the damn thing like it is cancer.
I have no choice but to drive it because insurance is so flipping
expensive. The thing that truly galls me though is every day I
climb into the van I have to look at my white Z-28 camaro in the
driveway .I don't care who you are once you drive a sports car that
handles like that one does it hurts to drive anything else
(p.s.-first day I drove the van I almost  flipped it)

Wow.  I was amazed at this site.  Society has convinced you that
you are or
are not a better person based on what you drive.  You people have
issues.
Here's a thought, why don't you take a deep breath and enjoy the
fact that
you are alive.  Enjoy where you're going and where you've been.
Not what it
is that takes to get you there.  If what you drive is so
important, you need
to re-evaluate your life.  Drive on a race track if speed is your
adrenaline
rush.  If someone in the fast lane slows you down take a look at
how much
time you actually lost by it.  Seconds? Minutes?  All you have
done is
stressed yourself and maybe irritated others when you got to
where you were
going.  Streets are made for commuting, getting there with style
and
integrity is up to you.  Don't judge people on what they drive,
it doesn't
really matter.  If you must know, I don't have a mini van, I do
however have
a life, and it will be the only one that I will get.  I plan on
having fun
going fast in places where I can, having as many friends as I
possibly can,
and enjoying every minute of the family that I got.  I'm not
religious,  but
I am in touch with reality.  You people who criticize others and
me, go
ahead, you make a great bad example. I hope that I have helped
someone out there.

I was struck from behind and was forced into a tree while i was driving a -$hitty piece of junk mini van

  The whole truck is an accordion it buckled around me like aluminum foil . THEY SUCK!!!!!!!!!!

         I'll never buy another one. They handle badly in the rain, they have no power,

                    And they look funny.        sincerely: MR.LAMONICO

I have a friend who listened to my minivan rants enough to make
me a bumper
sticker.  It says, "Satan Drives a Minivan."

There is a saying that we have in the Marine Corps, "There's
always that
10%." Well I guess I am one of piece of that ten percent. I drive
a minivan.
There I said it. Not that I like admitting that I am a minivan
driver,
however, there is a necessity for it in my household.
     Firstly, let me start off by saying that, in reading all the
message board
entries, you people don't have a problem with the minivans. Most
of the
entries I read referred to children as evil little beasts and
other colorful
terms that you deemed necessary to tag to an impressionable mind.
Let me make
two points and then i will get to the meat of it.
   1. Those mindless little cretins you are refering to will be
the future of
our society.
   2. The only frothing evil creatures in the world are those
with parents who
have ascertained a certain rock-bottom level of parenting.
     O.K. here it is. You people aren't mad at minivans. Though,
I must admit
even I can't bare to look at its totally unappealing design. You
are mad at
the drivers of those minivans. I drive my minivan like I'm on a
drag strip.
Its a 98 Pontiac Transport. Even though I don't like the style
the engine is
definitely a nice smooth running piece of work. Pontiac does it
again. It has
all the pull that my "parent-trap" needs to get up and going.
     What bothers me is that the people who are writing these
mindless,
unresearched and poorly thought-up comments obviously are
suffering from lack
of sex. I suppose you are going to tell me that its O.K when you
zip out on a
Friday night in your little Honda Accord with the wheels poking
out so far
from the car that the axle starts to bow and your little chrome
exhaust tips
that do absolutely nothing to the horsepower of your vehicle and
go pick up
some chick in the bar and take her to your house for a little one
night stand.
But its not O.K. for a person to have a family of children and
actually make a
commitment of some type, whether it be to her  or his children
which were born
out of wedlock, or to a husband and wife who want to have someone
to be proud
of, watch grow, and carry on their family name. See, from the
looks of what
you all said, there is a deep built sexual frustration. Don't be
mad at the
minivan driver because they are getting their fare share of sex.
Your turn
will come too I promise.
     Now, I have six children living in my house. For that
reason, I see a
need to have a minivan. I don't like it nor does my significant
other,
however, it is a NECESSITY. Want another surprise,
"stereotypers." One of the
six children isn't even my own child. She is a friend of ours who
is living
with us because she didn't want to move with her mother and she
said it would
be alright for her to stay here with us.
     I don't drive that van like a Pontiac Transport. I drive it
like a Trans
Am. I don't leave the turn signal on. I speed up when i change
lanes. I am a
very proficient driver and speeder for that matter.
     The problem isn't so much the Minivan, other than the fact
its an
absolute horror to look at, it is the driver. I don't think a
mother with One
or Two children needs a minivan. Three or more, I could see the
necessity. Old
people! Alot more lately I see Grandma and Grandpa driving the
minivans. Hell,
they were bad enough in their old 1970 Buicks. Remember those big
old boats? I
guess they traded those in for the new style caddilac, the
minivan.
     Fat people are not the only people to drive minivans. I know
it seems
like that's all you see in them but remember that there are
reports out there
that say over half the American population is obese. That could
mean you too.
You may want to watch who you are classifying as fat. I don't say
that because
I am fat. I am a U.S. Marine. Fat is not allowed in the Corps.
     I don't care what kind of vehicle you are driving, a vehicle
is not a
place for a phone. They just don't have phones in minivans. I'd
be willing to
bet that half of you that wrote in destroying the people who had
cell phones
in their minivans also have cell phones in your cars. That is not
a good mix
in ANY vehicle you drive.
     As for the screaming heathons you spoke about, If you
discipline your
children properly, that won't be a problem. How is it that I can
settle 8
people into my minivan and not have to speak to them once during
the entire
time we are in the vehicle. The problem comes in when, Momma Jane
starts lil'
Joey off with "timeouts" and "using their inside voice" instead
of being firm,
fair and consistence from the get-go. Then when lil' Joey gets
bigger, He
realized Mommy doesn't have much control over lil' Joey anymore
and he figures
he'll do what the hell he wants. So what is mom going to do spank
him now? I
don't think so. I usually end up dealing with Momma's problem. I
am a drill
instructor for a public school, believe me I know what I am
talking about.
    In closing, I hate my minivan but hell it serves a purpose. I
don't like
how it looks. I don't like the way the seats are or any of the
crap in it
except for the cd player. That is really nice. But the engine I
would keep in
a heartbeat and it safely and effectively moves from point a to
point b
without a fuss. Furthermore, I will run the dog crap out of that
engine. I
plan to continue to drive it like a Trans Am. So get the hell out
of my way,
Very competent and offensive minivan driver rollin through.

I'd like to know how in the HELL you expect me to haul my
wife and four
kids in anything but a minivan?  Obviously you have WAY too much
time on your
hands.  Why don't you do something productive with all of your
time - like
save the rain forest.  What kind of miserable life do you have
that you have
to complain about something as stupid as this?   Man I hate
people who feel
they have a problem with something and can't function properly
without
blabbing it to everyone.  I think you need some serious help -
you obviously
didn't get enough attention from your parents.

Signed-

One weekend my friends and I were traveling down from the
mountains.  We
were on a very narrow winding road littered with "SLOWER TRAFFIC
USE
PULLOUTS" signs and about 40 pullouts over a thirty mile
distance.  The
first few slow cars moved over for me but then there was the
green minivan.
This van was packed with the whole family even the grandparents.
It was
traveling at half the speed limit and was riding the brakes (even
on uphill
slopes).  After we passed a few signs and some pullouts I became
irritated.
All of us in my car started pointing and then honking at the
pullouts and
the signs.  And the minivan just kept going. We then drove with
the horn
held down.  Didn't do anything.  When we finally got to the base
of the
mountain and were able to pass them, everyone in my car stuck
both of their
hands out the window with their middle fingers displayed.  I
wonder if there
are any stats. on how many minivan drivers are victims of road
rage?

I haven't visited your site for a while, and thought it was time to see if the style impaired of the world have added any words of wisdom to this very funny page. As funny as the stories by us minivan haters are, it's the pathetic attempts at self justification by the minivan OWNERS that keep me coming back.
Contrary to what the resident jarhead says, I think it is those of you who have purchased these foul, lumbering, stale, wheeled shoe boxes who have the issues...
The very fact that they are spending their time getting into flame wars over their POS minivans shows a deep rooted insecurity with the hollow, phony lives they lead; they must justify being suburbanized drones, both to the world, and to themselves, or they will realize that they have been lied to by a society that says that our only purpose is to conform, pay our taxes, propagate, and enter an outmoded, pathetic rip off called "marriage".
Hence, to them, anyone who refuses to do so is "selfish", or "empty", or "sexually frustrated"...

P.S. Again to the minivan marine... I have dated the same girl for two years, we ARE NOT getting married, NOT having childruuun, and we both drive SPORTS CARS!!!
Jealous yet???
Sorry, gotta go, I think I'll go have sex now, and then have a nap... You could do the same, but you gotta take the brood to the mall for diapers, Pokemon toys, and clean spitup off the floor, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

"If you have more than three kids, you need a minivan."

When are all you minivan-drivin' rabbits gonna realize
that you don't live in an agrarian society or one that
is driven by cottage industries.  You do not need to
have more than two kids.

I must say this has been a very colorful introduction by many
people of
themselves.  First I have to say that my beloved NISSAN was hit
and
killed and been sent to the big NISSAN graveyard in the
sky.....the
unforgiving assailant was a minivan who rear ended us at 70 MPH
on the
Alaskan HWY.  This incident was in the month of February....can we
say
black ice.  The curious thing is this....upon exiting his minivan
the
driver upon seeing my two children on the side of the road at 30
below......says to my husband...."did you see snowmobile lights
in the
ditch?"   Needless to say we were quite at a loss for words at
that.  I
have since replaced my beloved NISSAN with another NISSAN....only
this
one is a NISSAN QUEST MINIVAN!!!!!!!!!!!  I am now going to be
the
driver of the unforgiving juggernaut that destroys someone's prize
car.
This is my REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!  To my fellow friends who drive
those 4 WD
trucks and SUVs......I am so sorry to see you in the ditch all
winter
long all down the Alaskan Highways and Byways as I drive smooth
and
carefree in my big warm DEVIL MOBILE.  A minivan kicked my ass
once....NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Hi all you mini van haters.  This is one recent convert (from an
'83 Toyota
Corrolla Wagon) that hopes you are all non-breeders as well as
mini van
haters.

Remember, our children are meant to further the evolution of the
human
species…. Not maintain or regress the evolution that we have
already
attained.

Accessibility, visibility and handling are all valuable tools of
the
defensive driver.  That's accessibility to make it easier to get
the rug
rats and/or gear in and out.  Visibility so you can see what the
offensive,
road enraged cavemen that drive Z24s and camaro style vehicles
are doing
(and believe us when we say we like to see you in front of us so
we know
what bonehead move you're pulling next and avoid it).  And
handling-you
know turning, stopping, accelerating, driving in adverse
conditions, etc.

The point is, there's a new sheriff and posse in town, and they
have a
group called People In Mini Vans Against Allowing People Against
Mini Vans
To Breed (PIMVAAPAMVTB).  PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS ALSO INCLUDES
IN-BREEDING.

Only two mini-vans have aced the crash tests (40 mph head on).
Those are the
Toyota Sienna and the Ford Windstar.  All others are veritable
coffins on
wheels--death traps!   Take care.  Jay D. Anderson

Ok my friends parents just bought one of those fancy new
minivans.  You
know, the ones with 867 cup holders, room for a damn hockey team,
that big
muscular 2.8 litre engine which provides a huge wooping 160
ponies.  Yah I
enjoy the 0-60 times of about 4 minutes in that beast of a power
van.  So
he's cruisin down the highway at about 100km/h(yep even us damn
Canadian
have the problem), and im following him with my 1996 T-Bird (my
pride and
joy).  The day is perfect, suns shining, about 85 outside, I go
to pass
him, and I guess when you have 18 windows in a vehicle its hard
to see a
purple car pull out to pass, well he says a little gust of wind
caught him,
because you know, those 10km/h wind gusts throw those vans all
over the
road, and needless to say, as I was right beside him, I got a
nice close up
of a red van ripping the side of my $3000 paint jobbed car and
spreading it
all over the road for the wildlife.  I love minivans, I love them
enough to
almost lose it every time I see one.
-----------------------------------------------------
Click here for two free plane tickets:

Today is a very sad day for me. Yes, I went to look for the
dreaded Minivan!!
I feel that unfortunately, I have been pushed into this position
by the
"Airbag" dilemma...and that is, if you have more than one child,
and ever in
your life plan on inviting any children over to play, or have to
carpool
(ever in your entire life), then you are faced with the airbag
dilemma. I
have detested minivans for years and swore them off forever. Then
this year I
opened my own preschool, and I came to realize pretty darn quick
that in an
emergency or for field trips, I am stuck! I have a Subaru, but it
has a front
seat air bag, so I can only fit three children in the back-and
not very
comfortably!! The air bag is a safety feature, I realize it's
value, but it
really limits those of us who despise the idea of owning a
Minivan!!!

hey, i'm a 16/male from Atlanta, GA and I hate minivans My mom has a '94
Plymouth Grand Voyager and it's a pretty nice car to tell you the truth but I
wouldn't be caught dead driving it.
 Then, the other day I was car shopping. My dad saw a minivan and
he wanted to know if I'd like  something like it. Well, of course I said HELL NO and then we went on looking for other cars.
 My dad said that he liked it and I should get it because it looked 'sporty'. My ass. Minivans are less sporty than station wagons no matter what kinda wheels
they have. So since it was MY money and not my father's I just went with my mom and bough a car I got a 1993 Chevy  Cavalier Z24 and it's great. It's pretty pathetic when your dad likes minivans and your mom lets you get a sports car.

  why a minivan?                                                                                                          Tue, 08 Feb 2000

I just have a really hard time understanding why someone would buy a minivan
if they really didn't need one.  Of course, I know there are families out there with like 30 kids who need a lot of seating and also because of that can't afford anything else.
But why would anyone in their right mind buy a minivan if they didn't absolutely need to?
 To me, a minivan is a last resort.  Why not choose an SUV as an alternative?
They are about the same size, can have the same amount of seating, and are generally much
"cooler" than a minivan.
A large car could also be a good alternative if you want some room or safety.  How safe are minivans if hit from behind?  What happens when your children are sitting in the rear seat of the minivan and you happen to get hit from behind?
 A car with a trunk is safer in those sort of situations than a minivan, right?
 And also... I read someone mention something about the visibility... minivans aren't the
only vehicle  that are higher up off the ground with better visibility.  Try an
SUV, or a  pick up truck.  Many pick up trucks even come with back seats now.
I'll close by saying I still don't know why some people are driving around out there in those things when they don't absolutely have to.
 I certainly never intend to buy one.

Jarhead?                                                                                                                         Fri, 11 Feb 2000

Hey, y'all, I've posted here before, and just  stopped in for an update. I'm still a lawyer,
married to a doctor, driving a black sporty car and hating minivans. I must however,
take issue with the kid who used the pejorative term "Jarhead" in reference to the
minivan-driving Marine.

Fuck you, lad. Staying with the same girl for two years and driving an alleged "sports
car" (what, a Mitsubishi eclipse? Very popular with the 15-year-old set . . . ) is probably
the pinnacle of your lifetime achievement. I served 22 years in the Corps, and you
wouldn't make a pimple on a good Marine's ass. Say what you will about minivans, but
don't you dare run down a United States Marine, shitbird. You are fucking clueless.

pamv                                                                                                                                Fri, 11 Feb 2000

Soccer Mom Barbie.
All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off
as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken Jr.
Comes with mini van in robin-egg blue or white,
and  cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Mini-vans . . . a pox upon us!                                                                                      Mon, 20 Mar 2000

This website is perhaps the greatest accomplishment since the advent of the E-Universe.
I hate mini-vans not because they are generally driven slowly
(whenever I look in my rear-view it seems another Dodge Astro or whatever is running up my tailpipe), but because they represent to me a sort of mushy, repugnant "comfort mindset" among middlebrow Americans, who think that--since they own what the advertising machine tells
them they must (if they really "care" about their screwball kids, anyway)-- then they are "okay". The implication, of course, is that anyone who doesn't drive a mini-van is some sort of subversive, anti-family freak who should be shot. In reality, these grotesque simps who buy
into the manufactured "need" to own a mini-van are the ones who need to be put in jail.
They add nothing to society but more consuming maws, like pea brained little birdies in a big nest of advertising vipers.
And I don't buy the whiny crap about "Well, it was just the best thing for me and my family." Whatever happened to the big old wood sided station wagons of my youth?
How unpretentious they were compared to mini-vans, which are, if you haven't noticed, simply transmogrifying back into station wagons anyway.

minivans                                                         &n