If there is a professional sports-related issue that Sen. Arlen Specter (Old Guy-Pa.) should hold Congressional hearings on, the late start times of televised playoff games in all sports is one that every citizen living east of the Mississippi River would support wholeheartedly.

Yes, there are other important legislative matters that Congress needs to address, such as the budget, the economy, gas prices, the war, and whether or not to officially declare October Earwax Buildup Awareness Month. But when asked which they would prefer: Congress passing important legislation or officials from each professional sports league explaining under oath why big games seem to be starting later and later, most fans would answer, “Eh?” because they can’t hear a thing on account of the excessive earwax buildup they have.

If they could hear, however, rest assured they would want the league officials to justify the late start times.

Speaking of Arlen (I think we know him well enough now to drop the formalities and simply call him that), while he got all worked up over Spygate - which involved the videotaping of signals that teams steal from one another every game anyway - when asked about pursuing accusations that basketball referees fixed playoff games, Arlen said he had no interest in pursuing such trivial matters.

I guess he’s not a big Seventy-Sixers fan.

Sadly, the ones who suffer the most because of the late start times, besides us adults, are the children. My two sons wanted to watch every game of the finals, but with games ending at midnight I told them they couldn’t stay up that late because I wasn’t sure I could. I did promise them that they could watch any elimination game.

That meant in each of the first four games they barely saw the first quarter before heading for bed. Only games five and six did they get to watch it in full. Or at least they tried to. On Tuesday of game six, Kevin happened to have his 8th grade field trip to Canobie Lake Amusement Park and then that evening a Babe Ruth baseball game. He tried staying awake but as the third quarter started he gave up and went to bed; which, still, meant he lasted longer than the Los Angeles Lakers did.

Chris stayed up through the trophy presentation. But an hour after he went off to sleep Kevin came into our room telling us something weird was happening to Chris. It seems Kevin had woken up and asked Chris, who was stirring in bed, if the Celtics won. Chris answered that they lost and he, Chris, was to blame. Why it was his fault wasn’t made clear. Obviously, Chris was overtired and talking in his sleep. Or it’s possible he didn’t hear Kevin’s question clearly due to excessive earwax. In either case, I blame David Stern.

The success of the Celtics this season brought back many fans who had stopped watching basketball years ago. Along with them came many questions about how the game is played today.

For instance, many fans wondered what that little arc in the key under the basket is for; or why there are so many technical fouls being called. Also, since when did players start wearing tee-shirts under their tank tops? And finally, why do players wear shorts that cover three-quarters of their shin? Did someone order the wrong size? (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar still holds the NBA record for shortest pair of shorts worn in a playoff game, exposing 99.67% of his legs. A record we pray is never broken.)

So the NBA game is a lot different now than the one many fans remembered. However, some things haven’t changed. For instance, the ball is still orange, a “small” forward is still several inches taller than I am, and Lakers coach Phil Jackson still resembles Raymond Burr playing an older Perry Mason.

Oh, one more thing’s the same, the Celtics are champions.

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