Well, given that we’re talking about American politics, don’t rely on logic. There have been, however, two Major Developments in recent weeks that could directly impact the outcome of the general election.

The first Major Development is the fact that Hillary Clinton now has the same mathematical chance of overtaking Barack Obama in the delegate count to win the nomination as does the late Adlai Stevenson. Clinton vows, however, to continue on, completely unaware that she has lost the primary election.

For instance, Clinton’s big win in West Virginia, where she took 103 percent of the vote to Obama’s negative 27 percent, glossed over the fact that West Virginia is no longer a state, having been replaced last year by Guam. A Clinton campaign spokesperson said, “You think we would’ve heard about that.”

Such disappointment hasn’t stopped Clinton from continuing to campaign hard. Which has made telling her it’s over all the more difficult for those advisors closest to her. Therefore, they have been dropping subtle hints such as, “So, got any plans for next week?” “I here Aruba is nice this time of year, here’s a plane ticket.” “You do know, honey, Obama is from the same party as we are? He’s just not from Arkansas like me.”

Of course, before this is published Clinton might have dropped out of the race, in which case that too would be a Major Development in the election. Although, not as big a one as the next Major Development I’m about to mention.

During a rally at a bowling alley in Pennsylvania recently, the world learned for the first time that presidential candidate and purported Chicagoan, Barack Obama, is a lousy bowler.

This would not be big news if Obama was living in, say, Massachusetts where we bowl with shot-put balls, or certain parts of Canada. But this is big news and hugely significant as it puts into question his assertion that after college he “moved to Chicago” and now “represents the people of Illinois.”

As a Midwesterner by birth, let me assure you Midwesterners have several traits in common. One trait is that we all enter this world with nothing, except for a tiny pair of red and white bowling shoes with a number on the back. To say bowling in the Midwest is big is like saying the Grand Canyon needs more escalators. It’s bigger than big. To give some idea how huge bowling is, when I was a kid living in the suburbs of Detroit, my parents would go to a bowling alley that had 50 lanes!

Also, do you know how Midwestern parents explain thunder to their children? They tell them it is the sound of angels bowling in the clouds. This is told in a soothing and pleasant manner, as if an accidentally falling bowling ball from a cloud isn’t the sort of thing a small child would be concerned about. Let me tell you, we were concerned. I was relieved to learn years later that thunder was merely the sound lightening makes.

My point is, to find out that Obama is a terrible bowler justifiably raises some eyebrows about his Midwestern claim. Therefore, we need further proof that he is who he says he is.

Another thing Midwesterners are required to know is how to make a Jell-O mold (even the newcomers do; as in most Midwestern states it’s part of the Illinois driving test). So before I believe Obama’s story about moving to Chicago, I want him to appear on a reputable news program such as “60 Minutes” or “Rachael Ray,” and be handed the following items: a bundt cake pan, a package of lime Jell-O, mini-marshmallows, strawberries and Cool Whip. If he doesn’t know what to do with these things, then it is safe to say he is an imposter and quite possibly not a “Senator” or “black,” as he also claims.

Anyway, it looks as if the next president of the United States will be either Barack Obama, if that is even his real name, or John McCain. That means the general election is officially underway. A mere five and a half months to go!

Like “Desperate Housewives,” couldn’t the election at least take a summer hiatus?

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