Refrigerator Copy
Column published the week of October 6,
2008 www.theleeonline.com © 2008, Lee Ostaszewski
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And Into the Homestretch they Go! |
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By Lee
Ostaszewski Here we are, the last month of the 2008
presidential campaign, and what a doozy of an election it has turned
into. This has easily been the most
entertaining several weeks of any election since 1980. That was the year President Jimmy Carter,
self-sequestered in the White House Rose Garden because of the Iran Hostage
Crisis, lost his reelection bid to Ronald Reagan whose campaign theme could
be summed up as, “Don’t worry, be happy and, oh yeah, I might nuke the
Soviets at anytime, so when I’m president be ready for that.” That election ushered in the Reagan
Revolution, yuppies, and an unprecedented stretch during which 20 out of the
next 28 years one George Bush or another would hold elected office in the
executive branch of our federal government. That all ends this year. Come January, either a President McCain
or a President Obama will be sworn in.
Which will it be? Who can
freakin’ tell? When I said this
election was entertaining, what I meant is that it’s just plain weird. After Barack Obama defeated Hillary Clinton
in a one game playoff for the Democratic nomination, here is a sampling of
the stranger occurrences: ·
Obama picks Sen. Joe Biden as his running mate,
then closes the convention by giving his acceptance speech in a football
stadium where they TURNED AWAY more people than show up to a ·
Looking to SHAKE THINGS UP, John “The Maverick”
McCain bypasses a half-dozen viable vice presidential candidates to pick Gov.
Sarah Palin which, as hard as it is to imagine now, no one outside of ·
Palin gave her rousing acceptance speech in
which she compared herself to a pit bull in drag, or something like
that. It was so successful, the McCain
people decided they couldn’t let her do anything but give speeches, so
answering questions from the media was verboten. · There
was A) a comment about lipstick, B) a trooper- gate investigation that’s
still going on, and C) McCain “The Maverick” temporarily sewing himself to
Palin at the hip while campaigning because for the first time ever he was
getting crowds larger than those that show |
up to a (formerly known as
Devil) Rays games. ·
Palin finally did give a few TV interviews and ·
Wall Street had a meltdown. And McCain, “The Maverick,” looking to
SHAKE THINGS UP, announced he was suspending his campaign for as long as it
takes Congress to reach a bailout agreement, or 17 minutes, whichever came
first. ·
Not sure that McCain “The Maverick” would even
show for the first debate (he did), Obama extensively prepared to debate
himself. ·
In the vice presidential debate, Biden was
composed and focused, obviously on Prozac, while Palin set a modern-era
debate record for using the word “maverick” 587 times. A lot of other stuff happened too. What we can’t know is what might happen
next. But since I’m handicapping the
contest, here’s how the presidential race shapes up at the moment: Obama/Biden: Obama is up in all the polls right now; he
just needs to finish the deal. Keep in
mind, even when battling McCain/Palin: Almost daily McCain “The Maverick” makes a
decision that seems ill advised, bizarre, from left field, or all of the
above. It has always been true that
McCain “The Maverick” roams constantly on the verge of self cremation. He got dangerously close to the flame with
his faux campaign suspension.
Handicap: Spontaneous Combustion.
Like the fate of all the drummers for Spinal Tap, one moment they’re
playing then suddenly, “Poof.” Election
2008 is coming down the homestretch.
There’s only a month left, but a lifetime of memories to enjoy. ■ |