Refrigerator Copy
Column published the week of July 28,
2008 www.theleeonline.com © 2008, Lee Ostaszewski
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NASCAR in the Air |
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By Lee
Ostaszewski When you think of the thrilling new
sport of rocket plane racing, which is debuting this week with an exhibition
race, what North American city first jumps to mind? It’s Maybe neither But who cares where it’s held and who
sponsors it? The point is there are
actual real people willing to put up actual real corporate money to sponsor a
race featuring actual real rocket powered airplanes flown by actual real
pilots who happen to be insane. How
cool is that? And with rocket plane racing soon a
reality, we can finally say we officially entered the 21st
century. But back to my comment for a moment
about the pilots being insane. I am
not implying that they really are. These pilots are more likely insane in
the broad sense that from birth they have done things others would label as a
little crazy. We probably all knew a
kid or two like this growing up.
Personally, I’m thinking of this one particular kid in my school who
thought it would be fun to ride his bicycle off the roof of his house into
his family’s in-ground pool. There is only one reason I can think of
as to why this kid did something that stupid: because he was too young to
risk his life in a sport sponsored by a major corporation. The entire X-Games industry is based on the
dream of one day providing a corporate sponsorship opportunity to exactly
these types of children, at least the ones who survive childhood. |
So we now have the new sport of rocket
plane racing, along with a new line of DKNY Men clothing sponsoring it. Also DKNY is designing the flight suits the
pilots will wear. In the MSNBC article
I read about the sponsorship deal, an excited marketing executive for Donna
Karan International was quoted as saying, “Rocket Racing is exciting,
innovative, fast and fun, attributes which completely mirror the DKNY man.” OK.
I don’t know if I’m buying into that one. Rocket plane racing mirrors the same
attributes as the DKNY man? I’m
guessing that these DKNY men weren’t the ones riding their bikes off roof
tops into pools as children. Something
tells me manscaping more closing mirrors the attributes of the DKNY man. The good news is that other sponsors
will soon join in because, let’s face it, this rocket plane racing thing is a
can’t-miss goldmine. If people are willing to watch cars
going around in a circle for several hours, then a good portion of the public will be curious enough to watch rocket planes
compete “head to head in a 4-lap, multiple
elimination heat format on a 5-mile ‘Formula One’-like closed circuit raceway
in the sky.” Or so it says on the league’s website rocketracingleague.com. I personally don’t watch NASCAR, but
just the thought of a “raceway in the sky” has me interested. Although, I hope this isn’t the kind of race
where you can’t figure out who’s in the lead and who’s behind. That’s the way I felt the few times I’ve
watch yacht racing on television. Most
of the time the sailboats don’t even seem to be heading in the same
direction. The announcers will try to
explain that this is called “tacking.”
The rest of us, however, recognize it for what it really is: Being too
drunk to sail straight.
As for the inherent dangers of rocket plane racing, I say it’s good
someone’s taking these risks because we really are becoming a nation of
wimps. A few tainted jalapeños has
thrown us into a panic. Honestly, the
way we act is it any wonder why DKNY executives think they can sell clothes to
men? ■ |