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Donny Osmond Has Soul (No, Really He Does)

By Lee Ostaszewski

The thought came to me about mid-way through the third listening of his new CD. But it didn’t come quietly the way a thought does when you’re sitting watching television at night and suddenly think, “Boy, I could go for some chocolate fudge ice cream.” No, this thought screamed at me. And it was more surprising than a sudden desire for ice cream. This thought jumped out like a haunted house ghoul with an ax stuck in his head. I was listening to the CD when it suddenly hit me:

“Oh my God, Donny Osmond has soul.”

Before I explain, have you ever agreed to do something then immediately regretted it? A regret that comes not because you didn’t want to do something, but because you realized that maybe you shouldn’t be doing it? That you’re not qualified? Like one of those dreams where suddenly you’re performing surgery or flying an airplane? Or maybe reviewing a musical icon’s new CD?

That’s how I felt after agreeing to review Donny Osmond’s new album set to be released later this month called, “Love Songs of the 70s.” That’s right, THE Donny Osmond.

I haven’t intentionally listened to Donny Osmond music since I was in high school and occasionally would watch the “Donny and Marie” show with my sister.

So while not a big fan of Donny Osmond, since the CD was called, “Love Songs of the 70s,” I figured I could do this. There wouldn’t be a song on this album that I hadn’t listened to at least 10 bazillion times before. Most of the time hearing them on a small, green, AM transistor radio I owned that I would tie to my bike’s handlebars and ride around with it playing.

Still, what am I going to write, that Donny Osmond can’t sing? That he stinks? The guy can sing. Even if his music and singing style are not my favorite, I felt pretty confident before I started that he wouldn’t stink. So, after taking a big breath, here I go with my attempt at a music review.

That transistor radio, playing equal parts static and bass, was how I listened repeatedly to most of the original songs Osmond covers on this album, such as Gilbert O’Sullivan’s, “Alone Again Naturally.” A song that, for the record, I loved at the time. And one that is really,

really, REALLY sad. In the song the singer wants to throw himself off a tower after he’s left standing at the church altar. Also, we learn that his dad and mom have died. I suspect his dog and goldfish die in later stanzas never recorded. And each time he winds up alone again, naturally. Teens eat this stuff up.

But the song in the hands, or throat, of Donny Osmond is not nearly sad enough. The arrangement doesn’t help either, it’s too peppy. One should need Prozac after listening to this song, yet in Osmond’s version a cherry Life Savers will do.

Osmond provides in “If” by Bread a better Prozac-inducing feeling, but should it? “If” is about everlasting love, right? Of course, if I never listen to “If” again, I would be a happy person. (By the way, how ridiculous is Bread for a band name?)

I have one quick comment about “Mandy” by Barry Manilow. I absolutely hate this song, but it brings back great memories of dorm life. We had a Head Resident by the name of Armando who on weekend nights would come to our floor to quiet us down when we reached a certain level of obnoxiousness. After he left, we would all serenade him with our own derisive version of “Mandy.” As for Donny Osmond, he can’t sing it any better than we did.

A song I always liked, “You Are So Beautiful to Me,” as done by Joe Cocker is amazingly not sappy. I think it’s because Joe Cocker sounds anything but beautiful. You get the feeling he’s shocked this women pays attention to him. Donny Osmond’s vocals are too, well, nice. It comes across as a ballad about beautiful people reveling in their combined beautifulness.

But my surprise came on the songs, “Let’s Stay Together,” by Al Green and Billy Preston’s, “Will It Go Round In Circles.” I actually enjoyed Osmond’s vocals on these songs. Granted, I don’t know what I’m talking about, but after listening to the 13 songs on the CD numerous times, in these two songs his vocals sound real and honest. The best way I can explain it is that in the other songs there seem to be three separate pieces, the Music, the Lyrics, and the Vocals. In these two songs, it all comes together. I am as shocked as anyone, but R&B could be his wheelhouse. Hey, give Donny Osmond credit, the man has soul.. ■