Refrigerator Copy
Column published the week of February 11,
2008 www.theleeonline.com © 2008, Lee Ostaszewski
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By Lee
Ostaszewski I’ve moved on. We all must. It’s what coach Bill Belichick has done, so
he says. No reason to look back and
dwell on what might have been. You
can’t replay the game, so what’s the point?
The perfect Patriots season didn’t happen. Big deal?
As that great philosopher and clean-up hitter, Manuel Aristides
Ramirez, OF, once said last October, “Hey, if we don’t win, it’s not the end of
the world, man.” And really, wouldn’t
the world be a better place if more people thought like Manny? Ummm, well, OK probably not. My only gripe was with the idiots who
awarded the Super Bowl MVP to Eli Manning.
The Giants defense won that game.
They should share the trophy.
They could have taken turns driving the car that is presented to the
MVP winner. How hard can it be to make
a schedule, Strahan gets it on the first day of the month, Osi on the second
day, etc. Before kickoff if anyone, ANYONE,
including Giants coach Tom Coughlin, had been told that the Giants were going
to score only 17 points, that person would have little doubt that the
Patriots would finish 19-0 and be Super Bowl champions. I’m not saying Eli didn’t play
well. He did. Especially in that last drive when he did
his imitation of the movie “Jumper” and disappeared from the grasp of what
seemed to be about 16 Patriots ready to sack him. Suddenly, Eli materialized several yards
away, all alone. He then tossed that
deep pass that somehow attached itself to David Tyree’s helmet, staying there
just long enough for the receiver to make the catch. If the Patriots sack Eli before he jumps
across time and space then I estimate The sick feeling we had after that play
was the knowledge that no matter what the Patriots did in the |
remaining minute, including
turning on the retractable field so that the end zone moved outside the
stadium and Eli had to turn into Flat Eli and slip under the turf flap door
to score, it was still going to happen.
Somehow. That’s the way
inevitability works. So we move on. Well, maybe not all of us. There was this guy who was interviewed by
every local TV news station during the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl
because he decided to tattoo his head to look like Brady’s helmet, complete
with two flying Elvi, the green dot and the number 12 on the back. That guy might be having trouble moving on. But we’ll cope as best we can. If anyone is still having trouble, however,
here is a list of ideas that might help. PATRIOT’S
SUPER BOWL LOSS COPING MECHANISM #1:
Stop listening to talk radio, especially when they discuss the
game. This isn’t a bad idea in general
after any loss by a team you follow.
When your team loses impose a total sports media blackout. Just think happy thoughts. Hey, it works for Manny. PATRIOT’S
SUPER BOWL LOSS COPING MECHANISM #2:
Take solace in the fact that the undefeated Miami Dolphins season took
place 35 years ago. This means in
another 35 years they’ll definitely be dead and no longer giving interviews. Except maybe for Mercury Morris, who if
still alive will keep referring to his nursing home as “The Neighborhood.” PATRIOT’S
SUPER BOWL LOSS COPING MECHANISM #3:
If you had to choose between the Patriot’s
winning or something else good that happened in your life this past year,
which would you choose? For instance,
if you recently got married, you’d choose that over another Patriots
championship? Right? You hesitated. My son Chris’s summer baseball team went
undefeated (12-0), and if last June I had to choose between that and the
Patriots winning the Super Bowl, I’d have chosen Chris’s team. PATRIOT’S
SUPER BOWL LOSS COPING MECHANISM #4:
The Celtics are doing great.
Pitchers and catchers report for the Red Sox this week. (Yes, this week!) Even when we lose, |