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Column published the week of January 14, 2008 www.theleeonline.com © 2008, Lee Ostaszewski

Signs of Change

By Lee Ostaszewski In case you missed it, or hadn’t yet noticed, there is a common theme running throughout many of this year’s presidential campaigns. In a word, that theme is CHANGE. Everyone seems to be promoting change: Republicans, Democrats, liberals, conservatives, kooks, religious nut jobs, even that guy from Ohio who runs in every presidential election and looks sort of like a nerdy Martian. Everyone seems to be claiming they are the best candidate to bring about change. Even if they aren’t calling for change, it’s safe to assume they’re for it. No one is campaigning on the slogan: “The Status Quo is A-OK,” “Keep America On the Path it is Currently Headed,” or “America: We Got it Right This Time!” Instead you hear these promises: “I will lead the fight for change,” or “Together, we can change how business is done in Washington.” Apparently, no one has ever liked how business is done in Washington. Every candidate for the past 200 years has said they want to change it. Maybe it’s time we give up trying. Some candidates don’t even bother explaining anymore what they plan to change. It’s as if whatever they can change once they get into the White House would be a bonus, even if it’s only the carpeting. Their campaign signs read merely: “Change.” Pretty soon candidates won’t even need that much. All they will have to print are the first three letters: “Cha.” Maybe someday only the letter “C” will do. While we are on the topic of signs, I’ve always wondered why so many supporters hold signs at rallies. If you are listening to a speech given by, say, Barack Obama, then do you need to hold a sign that reads Obama? Doesn’t the candidate already know who he is? And his supporters should know who they are there to support, right? Just in case, though, they’ll start chanting his name, too. Perhaps the signs are for the benefit of the television cameras. It demonstrates to the TV audience that these supporters believe in their candidate so much that they are willing to actually get off the sofa, button up their pants, put on shoes, and leave their homes to attend the

candidate’s rallies, hold signs, and chant his or her name incessantly. But how necessary is it to have 13,000 blue and white signs bobbing up and down during a speech that read Obama, or that proclaim his campaign theme of change (“C. Now.”) It’s unnecessary, the way it is unnecessary to bring a sign to a football game that reads “Defense.” Actually, now that I think about it, the “Defense” sign makes way less sense. First of all, how does it help your team? Do the defensive players need a reminder to play defense? Does the person holding the sign hope that his team’s defensive unit will look up and see his “Defense” sign and collectively think, “We are now inspired to play better defense, all thanks to the Defense Sign Guy sitting in the upper bleachers behind the end zone.” Afterward, during the post game interview, when asked what spurred on the defensive onslaught, does the Defense Sign Guy dream that a player will say, “I was truly inspired by a fan holding a sign. To think that before he left his house for the game today he took time away from loading beer into his cooler for the tailgate party long enough to go out to his garage and cut a piece of cardboard from an old box then, using a black magic marker, write a large block letter “D” followed by a drawing of a picket fence. Just so he could hold that sign in our direction after we had already been on the field for several minutes and remind us what we should be doing out there. Man, that’s why we bust our butt all week in practice, risk crippling injuries, and workout all off season, so some fan can stand there and tell us how to do our job Thanks, Defense Sign Guy!” Maybe campaign signs aren’t as silly as that. Maybe they’re meant to encourage the candidate as much as they encourage the supporters. It must be uplifting to look out and see your name printed on dozens and dozens of signs. But what would be the political rally equivalent of holding a “Defense” sign? Maybe a sign reading “Win the Election,” or “Get More Votes Than the Other Guy.” Hey, if it helps, it’s a change some candidates would be willing to make. ■