ANNOUNCER: Hey folks, want to relive some of those great, and not so great, moments of 2008? And do so in song! From Sarah Palin to Tina Fey, from plumbers to investors, from New York Football Giants to Boston Basketball Celtics, from McCain to Obama, from riches to ruin, we have it all in 524 of your all-time favorite hit songs, re-mastered with made up lyrics.

The year started off ominously enough with Super Bowl XLII. Remember this popular tune, “Puff the Magic Pats’ Season”:

Puff the magic Pats’ season went up in smoke,
Eighteen Oh, and a Super Bowl, was really a cruel joke.
Little Eli Manning came to play that day,
And threw a pass that landed on his receivers’ head to stay.

The whole year is here in one compact disk or three old fashioned vinyl records. Vintage vinyl that reminds us of “Yesterday (Scrambled 401Ks)”:

Yesterday, all my high yield investments seem so far away.
Now I know those losses are here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

But if we have learned anything this year, it’s that the higher something goes up, the faster it falls. “Spinning (Gas Prices) Wheel”:

What goes up, must come down.
Spinnin’ gas prices, got to go round.
Talkin’ ‘bout your mileage is a cryin’ sin.
Ride a hybrid Prius, don’t let Exxon/Mobil win.

But the economy wasn’t the only thing on everyone’s mind, 2008 was an election year and it was one “Long and Winding Campaign”:

The long and winding campaign
That leads, to the White House door,
Will never disappear, we’ve seen these campaigns before,
With attack ads based on fear,
After 24 months, it became such a bore.

All the hits about the campaign are in this collection, “John Mac the Knife,” “Sarah Palin Smile,” there’s even a song about our soon-to-be First Lady, “Michelle”:

Michelle Obama
These are words that go together well,
First Lady-elect Michelle.
Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can.
That’s all Barack wanted to say.
And until inauguration day,
We will believe these words and hope the economy is something that he understands, our Michelle.

As the year comes to a close, the economic news keeps growing worse. With consumer spending down, this would be a good time for some “American Buy”:

Buy, buy, Miss American buy.
Test drove a Chevy to the levy, but my credit was dry.
And good ol' Auto Execs were pleading for bailouts and time
Singing, this will be the day Detroit dies,
This will be the day Motor City dies.

Still, who could afford a new car? Certainly not “Proud Mary”:

Laid off from a good job in the city,
Working for the man every night and day.
And I never lost one minute of sleepin’ worrying about the way my resume might have been.
Big wheel keep on turning, Proud Mary keep job searchin’.

Despite all the troubles in 2008, we need to get back to what’s truly important in our lives: Sports. And New Englanders realize “What a Wonderful Sports Town” Boston truly is:

I see Celtics of green... Red Sox too.
I see Pats and Bruins...playing for me and you.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful sports town.

So order your copy of “The Hits of 2008” today. Or if you can’t afford it, illegally download it for free.

And Happy New Year! Here’s hoping for a terrific 2009!

________________________________________

Click on Another Slice for more columns