Skeptics out there are probably doubtful and asking many questions, such as what practical applications can there possibly be for a motorized barstool? Does society really need this? What kind of gas mileage does it get? Is a hybrid version coming out with the 2010 model year? And most importantly: Does it come with a GPS navigation system?

I am sure every inventor throughout history faced their doubters. “Why do we need a cotton gin? When I was your age we spent untold hours picking seeds out of cotton by hand and liked it.” Or: “Why do we need fancy electric light bulbs? We can see fine at night with this flickering candle, isn’t that right Harriet? Harriet? That is you standing in the corner, isn’t it Harriet? Oh damn, I’ve been talking to the coat rack again.”

Eventually, however, the last of the critics either come around to understanding the importance of the new invention, or die off. In time the new invention becomes an essential part of modern life. So it is easy to envision a day in the not too near future when we are all driving off to our favorite drinking establishment on our motorized barstool. And as we pull up to our regular spot along the bar, and set the emergency brake before ordering, we’ll wonder how we ever got along without one.

Of course, any new technological advancement brings with it its own new challenges. And the motorized barstool guy immediately demonstrated what type of serious social ills can come from his new vehicle; namely, drunk barstool driving (technically, Driving a Barstool Under the Influence, or DBUI).

According to numerous news reports, Mr. Wygle was cited for DBUI after crashing his barstool. He claims, however, that he wasn’t drunk when riding around and only began drinking after the crash because his “head hurt.” This makes perfectly good sense since I believe that is exactly the course of treatment recommended by the AMA for head trauma: getting liquored up.

It is possible, though, that Mr. Wygle is not the only, or even the first person, to build a motorized barstool. According to a BBC article (a sketchy news organization if ever there was one, for instance they spell tires, “tyres”), an Ohio police sergeant claims many Ohioans race motorized barstools. He goes on to be quoted, “There are hundreds of people racing these things, but they race on closed courses.”

Does that mean Mr. Wygle is not the father of motorized barstools as we’ve been led to believe ever since the beginning of this column? Not at all. Keep in mind that Henry Ford didn’t invent the automobile, either. He just happened to be the first person to crash his car then get cited for DUI after trying to cure his head injury with a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

The greater issue is not Mr. Wygle’s place in history. The greater issue is what the heck is going on in Ohio. Barstools are not the only furniture being motorized and raced there. Do you recall last December when a Cleveland Browns fan was cited for driving his unregistered sofa to a game?

I know what you are wondering: exactly how fast can a street legal sofa go? Well, according to the Guinness World Records 2008 website I located online, listed under the category Fastest Furniture, two men from the United Kingdom, a Marek Turowski and Edd China, set the sofa land speed record by going 92 miles per hour.

A YouTube clip of their record setting vehicle shows an ordinary looking white sofa except for the giant engine and huge tires built in behind the back cushion and what appears to be an anchor desk from a local TV news station circa 1985 attached to the front. Coming out from the anchor desk is a steering wheel. You can find the clip on their sponsor’s site sofa.com.

The upside to all of this is that at a moment in history when the automobile industry is in dire need of new ideas and innovative thinkers there are a lot of creative people with mechanical aptitude out there. And, apparently, they have a lot of free time on their hands.

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